Category Archives: Entertainment

A Calmer You: Hey Zuckerberg, get some sanskaar!!

The other day Mark Zuckerberg wrote to me. Arrey, had hai. Why are you rolling your eyes? Did I object when so many of you gloated about the call you got on your phone from Arvind Kejriwal? Did I? I toh don’t ­interact with anyone less than ­international celebrities. Anyway, bechara Zuckerberg pareshaan tha. Apparently for the first time since it started in 2004, Facebook’s popularity has reduced in the last few months. I wrote a long email to him, telling him that with a surname that resembles an iceberg, he should just chill about these ups and downs. Due to some technical fault, my response mail has bounced back saying ‘you can’t respond to an auto-generated message’ but what the heck. Apni garaj hai toh phone kar lega woh mujheMera toh, you see, daily contact hai aise logon se, just that I don’t have the habit of flaunting my contacts. Anyway, till I speak with him, I thought of writing some suggestions over here so that his CEO etc who are regular readers of this column can convey the tips to him.

A Calmer You - Hey Zuckerberg, get some sanskaar

Vaise, in my view, Facebook’s popularity has not come down one bit. Mujhe toh ab bhi agar mere office mein koi apni seat pe kaam karta hua nahi milta, toh Facebook pe mil jaata hai. But, yeah, it has become a tad boring, simply because it pushes a user to only be good. Ab for how long can you keep making friends and ‘liking’ peoples’ statuses? In the name of equally valid values like irritation and meanness, Facebook has few things – one of which, of course, is the ­obnoxious ability to be able to ‘poke’ people. It is my resolve that when Zuckerberg comes ­visiting me someday, I will take him to Shimla and ‘poke’ him when he’s standing at the edge of a cliff. Anyway, so all else is goody two shoes and I’m sure people are getting tired of being so sanskaari. So, here are a few new buttons, apart from ‘like’ and ‘comment’, that I propose Facebook introduces. Tell me if you think they make sense, then I will call Zuki and tell him…

1. One tight slap (OTS) BUTTON: Why should I only ‘like’ your status, or keep quiet if I think you are being the moron that you are, by posting ‘Ohh…it’s so cold’ 27th time in the month of ­December. I would like to tell you explicitly about the ­emotions your status is generating inside me, when you post a senti status, and order me to share it with minimum ten friends. Or when you insist on posting a photo of every activity your two-year-old does – sleeping, eating, dancing, doing potty…everything. I demand a OTS button, right next to the ‘like’ one. Maybe it could be avoided on exceptional pages, like Zuki’s own, Obama’s, Poonam Pandey’s or Fans of Sonal Kalra. Wahan toh koi sense nahi banegi, but in all other cases, it is a must. Enough of ­liking everything.

2. Lapeto BUTTON: How about having a ‘lapeto’ button for all the status updates that show-off more than Rakhi Sawant and Veena Malik ­collectively did, in their entire career. Kuchh log itni lambi chhodte hain … Sheikh Chilli would also get embarrassed. I bet, they wouldn’t even hesitate before calling Mark Zuckerberg their friend. Idiots. Pics of international vacations, pics of rocking parties, pics with ­filmstars, there’s no end to flaunting. By the way, if any of my FB friends is reading this, do know that my account has been hacked several times in the recent past. I’m ­getting the IT department to investigate. Otherwise, kahan mein, kahan show-off.

Anyway, if your friend can pray to God and look like Salman Khan in his DP, while looking like Paresh Rawal in real life, then you can pray for lapeto ­button to vent your feelings. No?

3. Stolen from where BUTTON?: Aam aadmi party should take this up, at Ramlila Maidan. Chori ke Facebook status pe ­minimum three years imprisonment, without access to Facebook, in jail. Sabse pehle mein hi andar jaaoongi but then I don’t fear ­sacrificing for a noble cause. No one has made better use of the copy-paste feature invented by my mamaji, Lawrence Gordon Tesler, than Facebook users. No wonder you find your friend Javed Chikna who can’t speak proper grammar to save his life, suddenly put up an insightful status of 250 words in such perfect English that even Prince Charles will have to use a dictionary. If only there was a ‘kahan se chepa?’ button under such status updates, at least you wouldn’t see seven friends on your timeline come up with the exact same joke. Am I right or right? Tell me.

4. Aashirwaad BUTTON: After ­suggesting such mean ­buttons above, the Alok Nath in me has suddenly woken up with a thunder. Getting back to ­sanskaars, I propose an ­‘aashirwaad’ button under a ­status. You see, of late, parents ki poori generation ne dhaava bol diya hai Facebook pe. Ideally, someone in the FB technical team should have had the sense to invent a feature where the ­computer would automatically detect a parent, grand parent, chachaji, buaji, mamaji etc and disable their option to send a friend request to the helpless youngsters in their family.

But woh toh kiya nahi, and now ­people are stuck. Because, being sanskaari, and also ­realising that pocket money gets into danger if dad’s friend request is not accepted, bechaare bachchey end up adding them. The elders are also overwhelmed at seeing that the same Pappu who gets 39 out of 100 in English, puts up William Shakespeare’s quotes on Facebook. So for such emotionally touched generation, there should be something better than the silly ‘like’. For them, we should have the ‘aashirwaad’ ­button. Technical glitches may just see a ‘sloshed after 3 tequila shots’ status from Priya Kumari get an aashirwaad from mummy ji, but then errorskahan nahi hote. Go for it!

5. Finally, I demand a button that, by some magic, removes the ‘likes’ on someone else’s ­status. Of course we’ll use it ­judiciously, we are sanskaari. Because you see, itne jhoothe likes hote hain kuchh log ke ­status pe. PS: If a thought about the likes on my FB statuses even remotely crossed your mind just now, remember that there is God up above and my friend Zuki down on this earth, and both will curse you. Haan, toh these jhoothelikes happen because some people have the disease of liking just about anything. Go on, test it. Post ‘dying of constipation for the past 3 days’. If you are not a serial killer with no friends, I guarantee you a ­minimum of five likes before you visit the loo for your next attempt. Oh Facebook, give us the power to take away at least such ­embarrassing ‘likes’ down. We’ll not misuse power. We have sanskaars. And now we have Kejriwal.

Sonal Kalra has suddenly realised that this column will be suicidal for her FB page’s ­popularity. Will Zuki get that it’s a joke? Implement toh nahi kar dega nah?

Today's Viral Video - Must Watch & Share. Subscribe to My YouTube Channel.

The Big Obese Indian Wedding

Today's Viral Video - Must Watch & Share. Subscribe to My YouTube Channel.

Marriage is one of the biggest and happiest occasion for people in this world but in country like ours…i feel people live for this day.Not only the bride and the groom but the whole family and relatives go to the extent of hysterics even at the thought of the word “marriage”. Everyone’s happy for something or the other unknown reasons.There are so many small small functions in which the whole family participates with full enthusiasm.Even relatives who are not in talking terms with you suddenly become friendly….so in short everything looks good and feels great to be part of the big Indian wedding.BUT what irks me about this big fat Indian wedding is the term itself “BIG FAT”….i feel the term used should be OBESE!!!

indian-wedding

Marriages in India are treated as a form of business nowadays. Even in well reputed families….before starting talks about a suitable match, people generally ask that how much money are they going to spend on wedding….rubbish!!!!.And if you think that there are people who are against dowry or do not demand anything from the bride’s side….then you are highly mistaken.Even those people would generally say that the bride side may do whatever is their capability or in better words…”we don’t want anything….we just want your daughter:):)….if you really want to give anything…give it to your daughter:):)”…wow!!…that’s such a brilliant thinking.Now what such dialogues do is…they put bride’s side in a fix!!!.They really try out of their comfort zone….to give their daughter all the comforts they can.

May be for giving the so called comforts they may have to sell a piece of land or old jewelry or may be spend out of their own capabilities by taking loans!!.They give her all materialistic things like TV,AC,Car and other innumerable stuff. I just don’t understand one thing….were the groom’s side living in a jungle or a lagoon that they don’t even have such basic amenities or are they habitual of taking such expensive items as a form of gift.The society should understand that the girl can and should live in the same place with exactly same conditions as her future husband and his family lives.

Now the most important part comes is the plight of a girl…apart from the fact that she has to leave her home,her family and friends to a new place where she has to adjust with new surroundings,environment and people who are more interested in the stuff she has brought…….she is expected to be beautiful,fair,tall,well educated and well mannered.And if she has a well paying job thats the best thing that can happen..but she should also be able to churn up tasty meals every time she cooks….ummm….she has to be a superwoman.But what people should really know is that in today”s world parents take equal pains and labour to make their kids successful in professional front…be it a girl or a boy…few can be doctors..engineers or scientists…may be managerial jobs.These young professionals are capable enough to make it big in future to earn sufficiently for themselves and their families.They have promising careers but by giving dowry in the name of gifts and tokens they make the girl feel low and incapable.She feels that all these things are necessary to be given because may be she herself is not capable to be represented alone in other’s house.She needs to accessories herself with all these things and gifts so that she is accepted in the other family with all respect.I mean just look at the confusion in the girl’s mind….at professional front she heads for a successful and bright future with lots of confidence in her and on the other hand when she is married and goes to a household which she has to consider as her own ….such malpractices really downs her morale a lot!!!

Had the groom and his family accepted her the way she is without any tantrums…she might have considered herself the luckiest girl in the universe.No matter how happy or tough the future life would have been…she would have given thousand times more respect to the groom and his family…

Well i don’t know if there is any solution for this problem in society as ours….whereby we have entered the year 2013…but behave as if we are still living in the indus valley civilization where the dead was buried with all the things to be used in later life.What i feel is that this practice of exchanging gifts should be stopped immediately…there should be a limit to the splurging in organizing parties or better still…the bride and groom should organize the party with whatever savings they have.

Also read – Oh, God yeh shaadi ka chakkar.

But one thing is for sure that to stop these unnecessary evils….the society should change…and as we form the society so we should take the initiative to bring about the change.One small step from our side in a positive direction will bring about a big change in the way our so called society.And please who so ever is reading this may suggest some points to ward this evil so common in all strata of our society:)

The Friday Funda: The ‘Confession Page’ Rage

I went to Baba Google recently and said, “Baba! These days’ people are crazy about confession pages. They post whatever comes to their mind on a confession page. I am not on any of the confession pages so far but, wish to join one. Before that, I want to know the exact meaning of the word “CONFESSION”. Is shabd par prakash daalo baba.” Google Baba was ready with 1 crore 47 lakh results in 0.27 seconds after hearing my prashna.

Baba said, “Son! Confession means ‘An admission or acknowledgment that one has done something that one is ashamed or embarrassed about.'”
I replied, “But Baba, people are not using confession pages as per this definition. Instead of admitting something they are embarrassed about, they write something that embarrasses others. I am not delighted to see the direction these confession pages are moving towards.”
At last Baba said, “Dear! You can do one thing in that case, and that is, making “CONFESSION PAGES” a target in this week’s ‘The Friday Funda’. Tathaastu!


Here I am, with this week’s write-up which will talk about confession pages going viral around the web these days. Confession pages have been created for everything, from an educational institution to your local vegetable market, where the vegetable vendor confesses that, he charged Rs.10 extra from a regular customer, and still didn’t give her coriander for free.
Youngsters are found hitting “Likes” and posting comments on confession pages at the speed of a supercomputer. Students are finding it difficult to concentrate on their studies, and login to their social accounts after every half an hour. Hahaha! Ye toh main kam bol raha hoon. Actually, they log in after every five minutes. No?  Chalo yaar sach toh ye hai kay they don’t log-out from their social accounts.

[stextbox id=”info”]When you get the privilege to share your confessions without revealing your identity (anonymously), then you are expected to be responsible enough not to name anyone else as well in your confessions. Otherwise, the whole purpose gets defeated. This is what is being observed on almost all of the confession pages on Facebook. This is what prompted us to launch a separate website – DuConfessions.in where one can share only clean remarks as a part of your confessions and all the comments get duly moderated.[/stextbox]

Initially started as a medium to confess anything anonymously, these so-called confession pages have become a place to post offensive remarks about colleagues, educators and organizations. These confessions include students poking fun at the body language and style of their tutors, ‘dilphenk aashiqs’ confessing their attraction for a crush, whom they name openly on the confession page. Confession pages are turning into dating sites.

The purpose of starting confession pages is not clear even to the admins of these pages. Bas, sab ek hi raag aalaaptey hain “guys and gals! This page is for fun purposes.” Does that mean you can poke fun at others by naming them openly on a page? Many people, including me, do not support the very concept of confession pages because though these pages might have been launched for recharging your batteries by reading humorous but acceptable confessions, these pages have now become a source of foul comments and humiliating confessions. I don’t say that this freedom to express oneself should be withdrawn by blocking these pages, but some rules should be adhered to while posting on these confession leaves. These pages are being used to spit out hatred for a person, an institution, a law or a system and that my dear readers, is very upsetting. It seems as if some people are using confession pages as a weapon to start a cold war with someone.

On March 29, 2013 the Dean of Mumbai’s Government Dental College, lodged an official complaint against a Facebook page titled ‘GDC Mumbai Confessions’ with the city police’s Cyber Crime Cell. The ‘confessions’ GDC students posted on this page contained derogatory remarks about female classmates and criticism of the teachers.

Confessions posted on these pages are fun for those who post them but, a source of stress for the targets. It would be better if the administrators filter the content they receive before finally publishing it but, the administrators do not take this step because the inappropriate confessions are tagged as ‘sensational’. Facebook confession pages started spreading like an epidemic a few months ago and now these are eating up everyone’s valuable time like a disease. A regular Facebook user is observed to be active on at least three confession pages each day. All confession pages are not being exploited but you never know, an anonymous comment might come and spoil the page.

This new trend hypnotizes people in the age group of 16-25 and frights the coaches and the management of various institutions. Some people who have been targets on confession pages have posted requests to admins for removing derogatory posts but their requests are straightway rejected in the name of “take it as a joke” phrase.

[stextbox id=”alert”]BTW, we have created a separate confession page for Fans of Sonal Kalra as well.[/stextbox]

Safeguards:

  • Administrators of various confession pages and sites claim that they review content before making it public.
  • Facebook reviews pages on its site on a daily basis and takes immediate action on any content marked objectionable by the users.

Let me shed light on the fact that confessions posted on these confession pages are stored permanently in the web space. Misuse of these confession pages can land the person found guilty in trouble, as confessions can be traced. These confessions are anonymous on the face, but the person behind can be found out by tracking the Internet Protocol (IP address) of the user.
Facebook users have delivered mixed reactions to these confession pages. I am a regular Facebook user too and fall in the category of those who neither target nor are targets on a confession page. I am not on any of the Facebook confession pages. It might be possible that a silly confessor targets my write-up on a confession page. The best thing I can do about this is not joining a confession page and just IGNORE, IGNORE & IGNORE!

So, what’s your opinion regarding these confession pages? Confess it at techsoftwarez@gmail.com. See you next Friday  🙂

Interested to Join Our Team of Guest Contributors? Here is, How to Register Yourself.

Social Gatherings : Complete Entertainment From a Different Angle

Variety is the spice of life, we all get bored when we continuously read the same kind of stuff, yes I want to motivate people, want to be a person with whom people should forget their worries and there should be a kind of positivity in them and on the other hand to be honest I also want to make my blog as a platform wherein we can discuss anything with a touch of imagination, dreams, humor  out of box thinking, discussions, point of views, a page which belongs to all of us.

unny-indian-weddings

So keeping this point of view in mind, through this article I tried to find out ‘why social gatherings are hated so much’ and ‘what should be done in this unavoidable circumstances with a touch of humour?’

God knows why but I am very hesitant in going to the social gatherings especially family get together (marriages), and there are various specific reasons behind this, let me quote few of them

1) You meet those people over there whom you never met or met once or twice in your whole life or don’t even know that they actually exist and there is also a surety that you will not meet them again but they meet you like they know you from years and are regularly in touch with you, but the problem with my kind of a guy who is reserved is how to deal with them because you don’t have anything to say and I call them “THE BLUE MOONERS”.

How to identify them – It’s very easy to identify them because you actually don’t know them, so whenever you meet someone for the first time who is your relative that person belongs to this category.

2) Then there exist a second kind of category and I call them “THE ANOIDERS”, it is very difficult to satisfy these kinds of people and they usually find faults even in perfections, you know like

ü Decoration is not good

ü Food is not good

ü I don’t like the venue

ü No parking space

And trust me these are the people who make maximum of their visit by trying each and everything whether its food, place or people but has a habit of putting a question mark in everything, come on the father of the bride has spend millions in his daughter’s marriage and if you have so much of problem then don’t attend the function.

How to identify them- Person who does not sit at one place and go to different people complaining about things with a kind of look on his face that he is a detective and doing his investigations.

3) There is also a typical category that exists in these social gatherings, I call them “THE QUESTION MARK”, why question mark because god knows from where they think about questions but they have questions on every topic, the most irritating thing about them is the in build radar in their body through which they catch the signals and it does not matter how much efforts you put in to avoid them, they always finds you, stands by you and irritates you by their silly questions and the most common question they ask is

“KISKE BACHE HO”

“KAHA REHTE HO”
“KAUN SI CLASS MEIN PADHTE HO”

How to identify them- People with most mismatch of colours when it comes to clothes and trust me their eyes speak that they have some questions for you.

4)The next category is also an important category, the category of “THE EXPERTS”, these are the people who always have expert opinion about everything and generally attend the function just give or to form an opinion, these kinds of people are found in the first row, watching everything carefully and giving their comments continuously-

ü Groom is better than the Bride

ü I don’t like the Bride’s makeup, I suggested the parlour but she has opted to do the makeup from some other place

ü What’s the occupation of the Groom, oh I would have searched a better groom for the Bride

Come on it’s their marriage; they know what’s best for them and who needs the expert comments.

How to identify them- People who give ignorant look as if it does not matter what is happening in the marriage but go from place to place to give their point of views.

5) Next the most important category, “THE FREEBIES”, these people are not interested in the food nor in the marriage but they specially attend the marriage to have access to free supply of alcohol. I personally know many people and have many friends whose first question whenever he receive an invitation is

“Will they serve alcohol over there? If yes then I am in otherwise I have important work to do.”

How to identify them- You will never find this kind of people in the wedding, they can be found around cars or outside the tents and once they are drunk, you can find them on dj floor, whatever may be but they are the ultimate source of entertainment.

6) Then comes the another category, the category of “THE ROYALS”, you know the people who like to be treated as kings and queens, they don’t sit with anyone, they require all the facility to be at the place where they are sitting as if they are at a five star hotel and not in a social gathering. You can easily identify these kind of people by the clothes they wear and the typical expression on their face that their standard is high and they have given a big favour to all those who attended the party by being a part of it.

How to identify them-You can find these kinds of people sitting in the first row giving sophisticated looks on their face.

7) Now it’s time to introduce a special category of women, I called them “THE GOSSIPERS” because the only purpose for these women to attend the social gatherings is to do gossiping, give them a moment and they will forget that they are actually in a function and discuss everything except about the function which they attend. They meet like sisters who were lost and suddenly found each other and the best thing about this group is the way it is formed and grow within minutes including those women also which are not known faces but are interested in the topic.

How to identify them- Woman in groups with lots of hand movements and aggression on their faces represent this group.

8) Next category is the category of “THE SHOOTING STAR”, these people are so fond of photographs that you can easily find them in almost every second photo of the marriage album that people sometimes mistakenly call them as bride or groom, and then suddenly the question comes
“WHOSE MARRIAGE IS THIS?”
And the best thing is usually this kind of characters wear such colour of clothes (let’s call that alien colours of clothes oops sorry even aliens will be scared off wearing such kind of clothes) that it enhances the value of the photograph million times and sometimes you feel to say

‘Auntyji ek photo te kali vi le len dio, uthe jao uncleji bula rahe ne’

How to identify them- These kinds of people are generally found on the stage or around the bride and groom.

9) “Yaar shaadi ka khana khaye hue bahut time ho gya, pta nai koi card kab ayega”.
I hope you people are able to recognize the next category, no points in guessing, yes this one is the category which I call the category of ‘THE FOODIES’, this category knows everything about the food and they are generally found advising people

‘Shahi paneer try karo, acha baneya hai’

‘Non veg try na karo, meat purana lagda hai’

‘Ice cream chado, moong dal da halwa try karo’

‘Ki yaar tussi vi, dasso dal makhni nai khadi tusi’

I also accept that many times many sole purpose of attending the marriage is to have a change in life as far as food is concerned; you never get such a variety of food at such a cost.

How to identify them- very easy to identify them, the common face on every stall plus they are so busy in eating that sometimes the food instead of going in to their mouth goes on to their clothes.

10) Now we finally comes to our last category, It’s my habit to send my articles to close friends to check it once whether whatever I have written make sense or not, when I mailed this article to one of my friend, his reply was

‘yaar woh wali category kaha hai jo logo(for boys, its girls, and for girls, its boys) ko dekhne jaati hai, woh bhi daal na.

Yes my buuooy, ur wish is like a command for me, here is that category, category of ‘THE ENTERTAINERS’, apart from food this category is also very famous one, dil laga rehta hai, of course in the party. All the ‘sexy ladies on the floor’ knows how to impress that’s why they never feel cold in winters when all others hide their bodies with a thick layers of clothes (god knows how, may be due to this attitude, ‘acha dikhna hai toh bas dikhna hai, sardi bhi mera kuch nai bigaad skti, chahe baad mein doctor ko dikhana pade).

How to identify them- Come on in this also you need my comments as how to identify them. Go and make your own efforts.

That’s all from my side; there can be many more categories, so you all should explore more which will makes you busy even in boring parties.

Keep on sharing, Keep on growing and Keep on smiling.

Dear God,beware of your actions….. Pappu is watching You

Here comes Pappu, six years old, very very naughty and my cutie pie from next door. What to describe about him..? well all in all, just want to say that he is curious and quick witted guy. He comes my home daily, without taking any holiday. In fact, he enjoys holidaying his holidays our home. Actually he adores annoying my wrinkled Biji. They can’t live without meeting and greeting each other.

pappu and god

Pappu is a lovely guy with lots of playfulness and sensibility. Very easy going guy. But sometimes easy and casual going keeps you head spinning and you really get stunned upon his senses. But I think he is the “God” who was most bewildered and staggered on Pappu’s comment that day..

Well that day was an ordinary day when it started. Pappu came home and saw Biji watching news. He also sat with her. Whenever you watch news, you tend to see violence in it, be it from North, East, West or South. None other than killing, intriguing, offending or defending is telecasted. But that news of China and Pakistan intriguing India catch attention of our little Pappu.

He asked curiously…”Biji..what is it? What is happening between these trio?”

Our Biji, I find her the incarnation of Rani Jhansi, angrily replied “ Our not so good neighboring countries want to take away our piece of land..But they won’t be successful as they are wrong and wrongs never win ! !” I don’t know why this Government or God don’t take it seriously and helps us. Pappu remained mum but I was sure, in his insane mind he was into something..

Well, Biji exasperated changed the channel and started watching mythological series on Lord Shiva.. She calmly asked Pappu to pay his obeisance to Him and seeks blessings of Lord Shiva from TV. He is God, be on T.V, the creator and manager of this universe.

Pappu did the same and started watching it,that too with interest, well well well ..that was phishy for me then, Pappu and mythological series?? How??

Amm..moving forward with the story of Lord Shiva, in it, Jalandhar, the deadly demon was attacking Indra and other angels, He opened war against them.

Pappu interestingly asked Biji…”Biji Biji…what is going on here??”

Biji explained,” demons attack angels for more wealth, boundaries,status etc, they want to steal everything from angels,but you see angels would face them and beat them”. Pappu was excited to know about angels win.

She again changed the channel, murmuring bad about these commercial breaks that comes in serials..

Wow..there was another epic going on..this time again demons were harming angels of God.

Pappu got irked watching same story over and again.. Biji smiled,patted him said..” Pappu beta,in every epic this story is repeated, be it Ramayana, Shiv Puran etc”

Hmm..okay..i take it if you say so ! was his reply.

And then suddenly he asked her,Biji you always ask everyone to follow God, right?

Yes my dear..any doubt in that? replied her.

Then China and Pakistan are not doing any wrong intriguing India . Pappu remarked !

“What?” Biji and I were stunned on listening this..

How are you saying this? Can you explain?

He gently smiled and said…” look Biji, in heaven, there are also issues like conspiracy, malignancy,magic and war rules them all” and as a good followers, we are following the same.

So Biji, if you want peace on this planet, kindly asks your God to watch His actions as we are watching and following Him. Biji got mum over his statement and I burst into laughter..and was imagining what’s God reaction would be on his statement??

God might be thinking “ Hey Pappu…yeh tune kya kaha?”

Ten Things That Are Wrong With Television Today

I don’t know what it was like to decorate yourself infront of the television sets roughly 50 years back. The frenzy and hullabaloo about those millions of pixels that together lit up thousands of faces with glory, but proudly I’ve been very much a loyal witness to its metamorphosis from a slotted coup to en masse entertainment. My association with the television goes back to the times when shows like ‘banegi apni baat’ and ’hasratein’ were rich ongoing sagas on television. That was particularly the phase when more and more channels were being launched and more shows were concocted to become a pivotal part of indian families 24*7.

television-doordarshan-logo
television-doordarshan-logo

Today that same industry has expanded to colossal standards with not just an approach to entertain the ‘Aam insaan’ but also a highlighted idea of deeply engraved commercial values. As the platform today is bigger than ever, one cannot but observe the flaws conspicuous in the indian television firmament that are a solid deterrent to its progress. Some of the slip ups that need immediate rectification are :

1.SEASONS: How may serials could there be that we can vaguely recall to have watched till the last episode. RARE. Lack of shows with seasons have led to dilution of content. Serials that begin with a compelling idea behind them become hogwash as the show proceeds leading to which it loses grip with the viewers. Introduction of serials with seasons will give writers time to brainstorm on their product so as not to let it fall on the track of perversity.

2.TELEVISION=TICKET TO BOLLYWOOD: The fine line between bollywood and indian television blurred 25 years back when bollywood spotted its to-be-most celebrated actor in shah rukh khan of ‘circus’ and ‘fauji’ fame. Today television actors seems to be using television as a bridge to bollywood with no sense of commitment. The prime reason considered behind the sad fate of hit sitcom ‘’iss pyar ko kya naam doon’’ that was called off air point-blank is lead actor barun sobti who called it quits with the show which led to threat mails from a certain section of the viewers who felt that a stopgap was totally intolerable.

3.NEWS CHANNELS: Their menu subsume everything from celebrity spice to sting operations. However subdued they are still under immense pressure to sensationalize everything and fluctuate from being crusaders to vultures.

4.MAHA EPISODES: The whole idea behind maha episodes was to bring a convincing end to a long running track in a show, but off late I see many shows coming up with maha episodes more frequently and seems too passé. We’ve have had enough of that.

5.REALITY TV: When this new kind of television came into existence it promised out-of-the-box entertainment and Yes it did too. But today the only difference between a fictional television and reality shows is that the latter blatantly roars from hilltops that it is still very much a reality, something with which today’s sharp headed viewer begs to differ.

a-still-from-indian-tv-reality-show
Still From an Indian TV Reality Show

6.WEIGHT LOSS CHARLATANS: Show me one person who lost weight by wrapping sauna belts around and I’ll show you a bore. Such misleading advertisements unabashedly encourage viewers to lose weight without having to move an inch. ABSURD.

7.TRP: On many instances in the past shows with strong subtext became underdog to old sob stories merely due to TRP’s. With the present trend of more and more viewers resorting to online medium, using only TRP as the deciding factor is not just banal but incoherent too.

8.FAIRNESS CREAM COMMERCIALS: The protagonists are shown dejected and forlorn before using the product and become thriving and at the top of their game once the product arrives in their lives. The sad part is that today millions of viewers fall prey to such misinformed advertisements that otherwise mean to say dark skin is a MALEDICTION.

9.COMEDY SHOWS: Gone are the days of shows like ‘sarabhai vs sarabhai’ and ‘dekh bhai dekh’ that had every element of original comedy innate in them. Today we see more of slapstick comedy with shows like ‘comedy circus’ where the comedy often goes tasteless and bawdy.

The TENTH faux pas is that out of the above nine listed unambiguous shortcomings none is being addressed, let alone amended. If these points are taken care of, television viewing would once again become a celebration. The reputation it enjoyed a few years back. For it is not an idiot box BUT an unawarded educator.