Category Archives: January 2012

Hey, you facebook status criminal!

Ha! In view of my extreme fondness for the delightful virtue of exaggeration, I was going to suggest that we shoot those who have no regard for Facebook etiquettes and go on posting mind numbingly irritating status updates. But then a friend politely informed that in that case, I should be the first one shot. Okay fine, I do admit, with a heavy heart, that I too am guilty of having committed sometimes unknowingly etiquette blood-bath on Facebook.

However, in the spirit of universal hypocrisy, I shall go on and poke fun at others who do it. Hoping we’ll both learn from it.

Hey-you-facebook-status-criminal-calmer-you-column-29-jan-2012
By the way, those of you either medieval or intelligent who are not on Facebook and are about to quit reading any further, please don’t. This piece is as much for you as the Facebook junkies.

Ha! In view of my extreme fondness for the delightful virtue of exaggeration, I was going to suggest that we shoot those who have no regard for Facebook etiquettes and go on posting mind numbingly irritating status updates. But then a friend politely informed that in that case, I should be the first one shot. Okay fine, I do admit, with a heavy heart, that I too am guilty of having committed sometimes unknowingly etiquette blood-bath on Facebook.

However, in the spirit of universal hypocrisy, I shall go on and poke fun at others who do it. Hoping we’ll both learn from it.
By the way, those of you either medieval or intelligent who are not on Facebook and are about to quit reading any further, please don’t. This piece is as much for you as the Facebook junkies.

[stextbox id=”info”]Tips on Facebook (Social Networking) Status Updates Etiquettes[/stextbox]

It’ll give you a rare feeling of satisfaction and relief at not being privy to all the crap the rest of us have gotten ourselves into, in the holy name of social networking.

Freshly chastised by the friend who reminded me that Facebook was invented as a medium to stay in virtual touch with friends and family, by occasionally sharing photos and news about your well being and not as the copy-paste-tag monstrosity it has grown into let me begin with a solemn pledge that ought to be compulsory for all, including the three Hrithik Roshans and two Katrina Kaifs on my friends list, to take before Facebooking.
The Pledge: While aiming to try that all my waking moments of the day are not spent checking and wondering how many people have liked my last photo or status, I, hereby take the oath that I shall Not

Send friend request to absolute strangers and then message them to express incredulity that they’ve not accepted so far.

Ignore privacy settings that enable me to disallow the whole world, including the neighbour’s gardener from getting notifications each time someone comments on my photos of winning the samosa eating contest at work.

Tag my entire friends list on inane links or photos, totally unconnected to them, or sanity. Post status updates@ five-per-minute. Keep stalking the profiles of my ex, or his ex, or her current, and their dog mindlessly and without a reason. Go mental at a death-defying rate trying or spending money …to get the perfect photo clicked for the profile, or the dp. And finally, not start, or participate in the spectacularly dumb chain-mails asking everyone to forward it to all the women, or men, or cats, who’ve made your life special and worthy, because it is the World Thank-you-I’m-alive-because-of-you-Day.

With the pledge taken, our next mission is to ban these three kinds of irritating facebook status-givers, forever. Are you with me?

1. The weather tellers:

First, Here come the clouds, looks like it’s going to rain ha!. Then, Hey, it’s raining Okay, we can see that too. And then, I just love rains and the smell of wet earth one tight slap. Seriously, what’s with all the undercover weather reporters on Facebook? If you love rains so much, go, look out of the window and enjoy it, dummy. Trust me, it won’t go away if you will not put up a status welcoming it. Thankfully, the weather-god is not on Facebook yet.

2. The over-tellers:

It’s amazing how a lot of people on Facebook are perfect candidates to be the information-broadcasting minister, at least of their own lives. Pardon an involuntary disdain for the self-indulgent awfulness, but not everyone on your 3000-strong list of close friends want to know how long you’ve been waiting for the metro or how you squeezed a pimple this morning, or how you are going to take a shower, or visit the loo.

Really? I’m not sure I wish to partake in the saga of your gastro-intestinal activities. Does anyone care?

Some kind souls even prefer to offer a cordial invitation to the tech-savvy robbers by posting ‘Hey everyone, we are on vacation till next week’ kind of status messages.

Well, all the best! And the worst is to get unending notifications on who bought a new sheep and in sheer excitement, planted avocados on Farmville!! I’m not really big on avocados, though I’m so very, eternally, happy for your new sheep. But can I kill you please?

3. The gloom tellers:

We all have a secret compassion-seeker hidden within us but for some people, it pops out every time they log on to Facebook. The result is emotional song lyrics, long inspirational quotes by people with unpronounceable names, and sometimes a detailed description of the mess that your life is. Your status tells the world how you fell off the stairs, broke your left leg, and can’t pee.
Some moron goes ahead and even likes it. And then explains that the like was to thank God you didn’t die of the fall. Actually, you should have, before raising the depression quotient of the universe with such finer details of your misery. So, you decided to have a break-up with your girlfriend of 22-days.

Now you’ve lost all trust in love and like a maniac, start posting senti song lyrics and links on Facebook. Sob, sob. Here, take a handkerchief. Laden with poison.

Sonal Kalra is suddenly mortified that after this nasty outburst, everyone will befriend her on Facebook. She’ll drink all evening in depression and post some heart-tugging poetry in status update tomorrow. Please ‘like’ it. And by the way, she, too, loves rains.

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Here’s why I love jealous people

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Why are you giving me such strange looks? I’ve never claimed to be normal, have I? You’re offended because you, like all of us, were taught at school that jealousy is a very bad thing. That it breeds hatred and discontent. Despite that, you could never help that feeling of something snapping inside you when your best friend scored more in math or when the prettiest girl in the class accepted his proposal for friendship.

A lot of you who work know that feeling when the boss suddenly turns all against you because a jealous colleague bitched behind your back. Or when your brand new car wakes up with scratches because the friendly neighbour had difficulty digesting that you could afford one. We, my dear people, were born with the J gene. All of us. The only difference being that while most of us manage to accept it as a natural emotion and keep it in check, some others decide to express their unhappiness with, well, your happiness. Today’s column is dedicated to these people. I think they are just fabulous. Here’s why.

Here's why I love jealous people-a-calmer-you-column-ht-city-22-jan-2012

Source:HT City, Hindustantimes.com

[stextbox id=”info”]Why Should You Love Jealous People [Calmness Tips][/stextbox]

1. They reaffirm your success

Someone being jealous of you is the biggest proof that there’s something right, and good, happening in your life. Lakshay, a regular reader of this column, wrote to me last week about a friend of his, “He calls himself my best friend, but it is so obvious that anything good happening to me upsets him. I told him that dad’s getting me an iPhone 4S and suddenly there were these murmurs in the class about what a big show-off I am. I know who started it. How can people be so double-faced?” Hmm … well people are double faced so that you remain confused about which face to slap!! Sorry, that was a bad joke. But, hey Lakshay, don’t forget to thank and love your dad for getting you the iPhone now that you have proof that it’s something worth showing off.

You see, what the jealous people unknowingly do is put a firm stamp on the fact that your life, in some ways, is better than theirs. It could be materialistic, or even emotional. A lot of friends may be jealous of how your boyfriend sends you heart-shaped balloons each week. (Really? Don’t smile, that’s so cheesy. Why are you still with him?). The problem is only when we start paying more attention to their jealousy than to our success. As long as you are not rubbing your happiness in someone else’s face and making them feel small, you have every reason to celebrate and enjoy the fact that life’s treating you nicely. Stop feeling sorry about your success or apologising for your achievements. Say a big thank you in your heart, to everyone who’s jealous of you. You would have felt like such a loser if no one in this world envied you. No?

2. They make you strive harder to hold on to your success

Jealous people are such noble souls. They sometimes deliberately express their displeasure in such mean ways that you take it up as a challenge to hold on to your win. My friend Priya used to be very tense because every time she would get a promotion at her workplace, some colleagues would start rumours about her proximity with the boss. She decided to take it up as a challenge and worked so hard at her performance that the no one could ever question the rise in her career graph. The bitterness sometimes ignites a fire in you to prove and sustain that you were worth feeling jealous of. So, aren’t you eternally thankful to those who made it possible? If it hadn’t been for their envy, you would have easily taken your success for granted, rested on your laurels and fallen off the pedestal while asleep. Thank them, silly, rather than resenting their presence in your life.

3. They help you see the true colours of people

First, go give a big hug to someone you think is jealous of you, and then I’ll tell you why. See, the J-ones mostly take out their frustration by going behind your back and saying mean things to those in your life. It could be your friends in class, colleagues in your office or even relatives in the family circle. Ask Bubbly aunty and she’ll tell you her theory on how all sister-in-laws should be called sinister-in-laws. Haan, coming back to the point, when the J-brand people bitch behind your back, it’s a wonderful opportunity to see who in your circle falls for it and who doesn’t. THAT will tell you who you can trust in your life and who is not worthy of it. If a close friend believes someone who is back-biting you, maybe that close friend shouldn’t be close anymore. Think about it. They were doing you such a big favour and you’ve been feeling low about their actions. Go hug.
After all this unsolicited gyaan, a word for those who are honest enough to admit that they’ve been feeling jealous of someone. Dekho bhai, my great grandmother Erica Jong used to say ‘Jealousy is all the fun you think they had’…arthaat, door ke dhol suhawane. From a distance, someone else’s life looks all rosy, because the thorns are too small to notice. They prick only the one who’s holding them. So, before you go all green with envy and those around you can smell your heart burning, count your own blessings and thank God that you are you, and not someone else. Because you know your own problems and can deal with them. The unknown devils in someone else’s life are far more dangerous. Calm it.

Sonal Kalra wanted to launch a ‘Are you J? Come, here’s a hug for you’ campaign but a friend told her it sounds a bit obscene. Maybe she’s J.

So whose cat is out of the bag?

I’m writing this in a very angry mood. Achha bhala socha tha (I had very well thought), of funny topics to write about this week and suddenly this stupid CAT jumped out of the bag and spoilt so many peoples’ moods. A lot of you have written to me about how unhappy and disappointed you — and those who claim to love you but actually love how well you do in a test— are with your scores in the MBA entrance exam.

Well, sorry to note that you are sad but there is nothing I have to say to you. Simply nothing. I’ve got tired of writing, several times in this column itself, about how I have little faith in the very concept of examinations —of any kind— as a measure of how well your life will turn out to be. Because, believe me, for every disappointed person who perhaps flunked some hi-fi exam, there are three ‘successful and yet depressed’ people waiting for their turn on the shrink’s couch. So if you still insist on making exam results or admissions as your index for happiness and self-worth in life, you deserve the misery.

 so-whose-cat-is-out-of-the-bag-a-calmer-you-column-ht-city

Anyway, as I said, today’s column is not for students who gave the exam and did or didn’t score well. It’s not even for their parents who are either distributing sweets or avoiding relatives, depending on the results. Today’s column is for an entity called log or ‘people’, as they are the root cause of many a heartburn. “Sab ‘log’ result poochh rahe hain (everyone is asking the result), and I feel like crying,” writes Trisha, going into a long account of how she’s avoiding family functions because everyone would ask her how she did in the exam. These log comprise you and me — relatives, neighbours, colleagues — people who have no direct bearing on someone’s exam results but knowingly or unknowingly make their lives hell by showing interest in it.
Sir, koi kaam nahi hai aapke paas? (don’t you have any work) How can you not realise that your stupid, and mostly fake, interest, in someone’s life may rob them of their moments of happiness in the best age of their lives. Here, I want you to look into my eyes and take the following three pledges with me. Trust me, if you follow these, today someone else’s child will thank you silently and someday your own will love you for it.

 [stextbox id=”info”]Pledge 1: I’ll never ask anyone how they did in exams[/stextbox]

If someone wants to share the good/bad news of their exam result with you, they’ll do it anyway. Please don’t be under the impression that by remembering to ask what percentage someone’s son or daughter scored, you are showing that you care about them. Bull.Shit. You couldn’t care less about their percentile or whatever it’s called, but so often there’s no other topic of conversation, so the moment you meet the offspring of a relative you may not even have met in years, you shoot off typical questions like: kaunsi class mein padte ho? (In which class do you study) Oh you have board exams this year…hmmm…that’s serious (as if it’s a disease), exams over? result aa gaya? kaisa raha? (is the result out? how was it?)
In all probability, you will forget what they answered before you finish off your next gulab-jamun, but unknowingly, you may have touched somebody’s raw nerve and made a young boy or girl experience some anxious moments while answering your questions. Admit it. You don’t give a damn if they scored 62 percent or 82 percent or 102 percent (that day might also come at the rate things are going). You just asked for the heck of it.

Koi aur topic nahi hai?
(is there no other topic) Talk about their interests, something nice that they are wearing, something as silly as the weather…any damn thing. It need not always be related to their studies. Believe me, helping someone be relaxed and at-ease in a conversation is the biggest virtue. Adopt it.

 [stextbox id=”info”]Pledge 2: I will not be an uninvited career-counsellor[/stextbox]

Since advising is our national hobby, I can’t tell you not to indulge into it sometimes, but please keep a healthy check on it, if possible. For some strange reason, a lot of people derive pleasure in believing that they are most qualified to tell someone what to do with their life. But at least wait till someone asks you. In most households, there are differences of opinion between parents and teenagers about what course or career choice to pursue. Aise mein, some guests try and take sides with either of them just to score points.
Adding fuel to someone’s fire will not fetch you anything, my friend. If there is a genuine insight you can contribute in helping someone reach a decision, please do. But don’t make vague statements like ‘Engineering kar lo. Wahi best hai,’ (do engineering. That’s the best) when the poor guy may be at war with his folks as he wants to be a musician.
Remember, every word we casually utter adds to an unsaid pressure on the mind of someone who is going through a phase of confusion and turmoil. Don’t make it worse for them.

 [stextbox id=”info”]Pledge 3: I will know when to shut-up[/stextbox]

I’ve been told that this column has a huge readership. In so many followers, I’m sure there is someone who knows someone higher up in our central board of education. Mujhe ek sifaarish lagwaani hai (I want to give one suggestion). I want to pitch that at the elementary level, every Indian is made to compulsorily undertake a course on ‘when to shut-up’. Seriously. We’ll become a developed nation…or at least a happier nation, if we get this one thing firmly in our heads.
Koi sunta hi nahi (No one listens), everyone’s busy giving an opinion. All.The.Time. In the context of today’s topic, if we are at least observant enough to notice the moment when our interest in someone’s exam results turns them uncomfortable, and stop pursuing that line of discussion, we would attain nirvana. I’m sick of people who get so absorbed in listening to their own voice that they become insensitive to their audiences’ feelings. The next time you ignore the evident body language of a young child who is not comfortable giving you the subject wise break-up of his/her marks in front of the entire clan, I will personally pay the under-world and take out your supari.
Be sensitive, yaar. Did you enjoy discussing your report card with near strangers when you were a student? I’m sure not. (Are you saying ‘yes’ because you topped every exam?….what a scum you are).
Don’t ever do anything that made you nervous and uncomfortable while growing up, to another person’s child. Never to yours too!
Sonal Kalra takes the pledge of never writing about exam results again. Whether your Cat ever jumps out of the bag or not, is not her business.

Hai, yeh mummy ke rishtedaar

Please mujhe maarna mat. (Please don’t hit me). I don’t usually give such stupid headlines or write on topics that sound silly to begin with (actually, I do. Sorry). But this one is born out of sheer helplessness. You see, last week’s sermon on loving yourself, much to my good luck, went down really well with the readers. So many of you wrote back with a pledge to love only yourself, that I got seriously worried for the population growth of our Country.

But, you know, each time a certain week’s write-up is really liked, it leads to quite a stress for me in trying to think of a ‘nice’ topic for the next. I couldn’t think of anything sensible this week (don’t you dare say ‘what’s new’).

Hai, yeh mummy ke rishtedaar-a-calmer-you-column-8-jan-2012-ht-city-sonal

I try my best, and there is a limit to being mean. Anyway, so I thought of ditching writing this week, and instead placed an apology message on this page. But, then I read this mail from a girl who was super-stressed about something so interesting that I’m having to write this minutes before we go to press.
“I have six maternal uncles and three aunts. Sometimes they all visit our place, together, when there is some occasion. My mom fusses over them so much that I can’t tell you. Even if I want to study in my room, I’m expected to sit and chat with them and their families, and run errands. Can you please help? And please, please don’t write my name or mom would kill me,” read the mail.

Okay fine, if you insist, I wont write your name, Preeti, though I don’t see any reason why your mother should kill you if your nana-nani loved and reproduced so much. I’m thinking of ways to help. Arranging for abducting your fleet of mamas and mausis comes to my mind first but that could lead to legal hassles for both of us. Hence, restricting myself to giving tips.

But before I go on, let me state a clear disclaimer. Nothing that I write in this column pertains to my mom’s relatives. Nothing. If you are reading this, Ma, be known that in the interest of truth, and my ultimate safety, I am prepared to randomly repeat this disclaimer after every few sentences in the write-up.

Coming back to the point, we all have rishtedaar (relatives) of all kinds, shapes and sizes, in our lives. But there are none to beat mom’s relatives. Ask your dad and his long sigh will tell you if I’m right.
Mothers, actually, are the nicest of God’s creations and they bring all the sweetness and tolerance into this world. So what if this sweetness is slightly more when it comes to her side of the family? (Statutory disclaimer: Not applicable to my mom, at all). She leaves her home to settle into a new house and nurture it. It’s obvious that her heart would go out to those she grew up with. Woh aur baat hai (it is another matter) that this ‘going out of the heart’ sometimes translates in going out the way when it comes to socialising with them.

A friend of mine often cribs, ‘My mom is otherwise quite penny-wise but when it comes to buying gifts for her side of relatives on occasions, suddenly all restrictions vanish.’ (Statutory disclaimer: My mother does not, ever). Another one says, ‘Mom talks to her sister almost every day. My mausi knows which exams I’ve flunked and how many hours I spend on Internet everyday. She is always ready with advice, sometimes sarcastic comments, about my life, my career, what subjects I should choose and when I should get married.’

Arrey, yaar… it’s no big deal. All relatives in India are born advisers, whether from mom’s side or dad’s side. Someday you’ll also do this to someone. Till then, here’s what I have to advise.

 [stextbox id=”info”]1 Thank God that you at least have relatives[/stextbox]

Many don’t. We are still in a generation when you at least know what a chacha, mausi, bua or mama means. At the rate young couples are opting for a single child or no kids, the next generation won’t even know what the words mean. As irritated as you may sometimes get when the uncles and aunts drop in, do remember that the cool, firang friends you may have made on the Internet envy Indian families for the warmth and the way siblings, cousins and relatives connect. It’s simply a case of counting your blessings. Sometimes we forget to.

 [stextbox id=”info”]2 Understand your mom’s psyche[/stextbox]

A sociologist friend had once told me that there are deep-rooted reasons behind why a married woman, in the Indian set-up or, in fact, universally, is instinctively protective and soft towards her own relatives. Traditionally, from the time a marriage alliance is fixed, the girl’s side subconsciously behaves subservient to the guy’s family — always trying to ensure that ladke waale should not get upset, should be well taken care of, etc etc. The bride, in this case your mother (Disclaimer: not mine, surely), throughout her life afterwards, makes subconscious attempts to make up for it. She wants her parents, her siblings to feel important and loved. And hence, sometimes the fuss, which is so normal … in fact justified. If you see any sense in the above theory, I can safely tell you that it’s mine and I have no sociologist friend. Otherwise, please think that these experts are crazy. They have a theory for any nonsense.

 [stextbox id=”info”]3 Finally, a word for the parents, especially mothers[/stextbox]

(Disclaimer: Not mine. Ma, why are you even reading this? It’s not about you, trust me. I love you). Always remember, ma’am, that no child, teenager or grown up person likes it when reminded in front of relatives that he/she should greet them with respect. If you won’t keep harping ‘namaste karo’ or ‘touch their feet’ or the favourite of the Punjabis — ‘beta, aunty se theek se milo’, perhaps your children would greet your relatives more warmly on their own. I’m sure you didn’t enjoy being told when you were young.
Also, it never helps to point out the flaws of your children in front of your relatives. Even if the poor relative tries to give a well-meaning advice (they mostly do), he/she becomes a villain in your child’s eyes. Discipline your children in private, let the mama-mausis pamper them. They’ll soon start looking forward to the relatives’ visits. You can thank me then, for the advice. I do accept cash, with a heavy heart.

Sonal Kalra is trying to decode the meaning of the phrase theek se milo. She’s going to attempt something on her relatives. She may not be left with any, afterwards.

Are you ready to fall in love?

Thank God it’s over. The whole New Year’s Eve stress, I mean. Did you too, like me, had to answer almost every homosapien in your universe about where you are going for the New Year bash? And then to worry about how boring it’ll sound to answer ‘Nowhere. Just staying at home.’ I used to think it’s one of those polite questions for which people don’t wait to hear an answer. So, when a colleague asked me in the corridor, I casually replied I’m inviting some strippers home for New Year’s Eve. She heard me. So did three others. Moral: People do hear stuff, and judge you… and give you weird looks. So watch what you say.

calmness-tips-fight-self-pity-inferiority-complex-calmer-you-column-1-jan-2012

Anyway, as I said, the tamasha is over and we have nicely stepped into another year. Waise, please allow me one more silly thought… what’s with ‘ushering in’ the New Year? You don’t have to usher anything, woh apne aap aa hi jaata hai (it will come on its own). Try kar lo (try it).
Okay, enough of digressing into weirdness. I’ll come straight to the point. This whole ‘New Year resolution’ funda is pretty outdated. Say things like ‘I’ll lose weight or I’ll quit smoking’ and you’ll be considered ancient. The cool thing apparently is to claim that you don’t have any resolutions. Well, as uncool as I am, I actually have one this year. And that is to fall in love…with myself. Do NOT make a face and say it’s a cliché, just yet. Hear me out.

In a very scientific way, I went about searching a common thread in the several hundred emails this column gets. (Are you able to see through my attempts to indirectly mention how popular the column is? I’m ashamed). Every damn mail is about how people are dissatisfied with something in them. ‘I am not good looking, so guys propose to my friend instead’ or ‘I flunked the exam because I can’t concentrate’ or ‘I’m too shy, can’t speak in public’ etc etc. We are too bloody hard on ourselves. All of us. So quick to find faults in us, indulge in self-bashing and self-pity day-in and day out.

 [stextbox id=”info”]Calmness Tips to Fight Against Self-Pity and Inferiority Complex[/stextbox]

Well, enough. This year, I’m going to woo myself, because as my uncle Oscar Wilde said, “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” Here we go

1 Learn to take and believe a compliment:

This point is more for myself than anyone else. If ever someone says something nice to me, my first instinct is to say, ‘That can’t be. I don’t deserve this.’ Bullshit. Ab diya hai toh kuchh soch ke diya hoga (if it has been given then some thought was put into it). And if the other person is faking a compliment, it’s his problem not mine. We’re too quick to believe people when they say nasty, hurtful things about us. And too quick to disregard something good being pointed out. Not anymore. This year, I’ll let self-love score over self-doubt. I’ll allow myself to accept compliments gracefully, and feel happy about them.

2 Enjoy the courtship:

No matter how much you argue on this, the fact remains that your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have. It’s vital that you love yourself. And I’m not referring to masturbation, you silly, though I’m no one to tell you how to express your love. Just remember the last time when you gifted yourself something really nice. Not something you needed, but something you wanted. When is the last time you took yourself out on a date? Enjoy your courtship with yourself, it’ll strengthen all other relationships you have. Set aside some time, and money, every month for pampering your self. Sometimes it’s not wrong, or selfish, to think of Valentine’s day as a day for YOU. Try it.

3 Do you like yourself…as is?:

You know, there’s a thin line between genuinely giving yourself credit for something good in you, and turning conceited and arrogant. The latter is a big put-off and I’m sure even you don’t like narcissists who are too full of themselves. So, if I suddenly see people liking their own Facebook statuses from tomorrow, I will jump from a building and leave your name in the suicide list because of your staunch inability to understand that there’s a difference between healthy self respect and a creepily adoring your own stupid-self.

But, that said, it is really important that you appreciate yourself, just the way you are, and not what you aspire to be. Take a paper, and write down the qualities you admire in people you like. Then see how many of those you yourself have. And please, all those who are going to use vague words like ‘nice’ for themselves can fix an appointment with me to receive their first slap in the New Year. What’s with this word — ‘nice’. You use it for everything — a gesture, a person, an animal, a movie. Thoda vocabulary improve karo (improve your vocabulary). Using the same word for everything is not quite… err..nice.

4 Have your ‘I-don’t-care-moment’:

Again as I said, don’t turn rude or arrogant, but once a week, stand in front of the mirror, think of someone who hurt you, and loudly say ‘I don’t care’. Do not spend your life seeking approval of others. Because others would never stop saying things. At some point, you have to stop torturing the person inside you with all the crap going on in your life. Give yourself a break. Just like you won’t bother a girlfriend or boyfriend with only negative stuff and would try to say soothing, calm things to them, it’s important to treat your innerself the same way. Hey, sorry if I’m beginning to sound a bit creepy. If your parents drag you to a shrink after this, please don’t say I asked you to do all this. Please.

5 Forgive yourself:

We kill ourselves over our mistakes. It doesn’t occur to us that like others, we also deserve forgiveness from ourselves. Remember, there is no mistake in this world which is not pardonable. No more torturing yourself because you are an easy target. And yeah, in the quest of loving yourself, don’t aspire to be 100% like someone you idolise. As talented as they are, duplicates of super-stars can never be super-stars themselves. Be your own super hero. The original one. I’m suddenly reminded of a few lines from an old hindi song I quite like. Makes a lot of sense to me… hope it does to you, too.

Aur nahi toh kam se kam, itni toh taqlif karo; logon ki tareefon mein, kabhi apni bhi tareef karo
Sab se toh tum khush ho, apne aap se kyun naraaz ho … Lekar apna naam kabhi, tum khud ko awaaz do

(At least do this much, while complimenting others, sometimes compliment yourself; you are happy with everyone, why are you upset with yourself..sometimes take your name and call out to yourself)
Happy New Year

Sonal Kalra just went overboard and posted an I love you card to herself. She’s being dragged to the mental hospital now.