Category Archives: Relationships

A Calmer You: kyunki koi koi friend kanjoos hota hai

Do you have a friend who goes to the loo just when it’s time to pay the bill? Bas, enough is enough. I’m sick and tired of paying for everything, every time. My ‘best’ friend conveniently forgets his wallet each time we eat out. And then, of course, equally conveniently forgets to pay me back even later. I feel like such a damn fool,’ cried out Akshay, in a recent, and excruciatingly long, mail to me.

Oho Akshay, idhar aao. Lemme give you an understanding hug from someone who went through similar helplessness during the growing-up phases. A lot of us have. In every group of friends, there are moochers. People who will either — dodge paying their share of the meal by saying they are not carrying enough cash, or — will try and make an issue out of how they only ate only one piece of the Paneer tikka while someone else ordered a fresh lime too, or — if nothing else, won’t calculate the tax or the waiter’s tip in the amount to be divided among everyone so that this falls as a burden on someone else who’ll either be nice enough to stay quiet or would have failed in math in school.

A Calmer You - kyunki koi koi friend kanjoos hota hai

So how many times have you lent money to a friend, either at the movies or in a group outing, never to see it again? If you are one of those genuinely generous people who loves treating others, it’s a great thing and I would like you to mail me your mobile number for my secure future.

But if you’re being nice and would silently stress later when you’ll notice the same friend splurge on something personal, you gotta a problem.
Let’s try and resolve that, because you see, tumhaari lottery toh nikli nahi hai that you’ll happily assume the burden of paying at group outings all your life.
When a group of friends decides to eat out, one of the two things must happen. Either each person should contribute a fair and equal share of the bill. But hang on,  if you are going to make a comedy scene by collecting Rs. 57.675 from nine friends and giving all that chillar to the amused waiter, please avoid, for the sake of sanity and manners.

The other way is for each friend to pick the tab every time, on rotation. Vaise usmey bhi panga hai. Because some outings may happen at Mc Donalds while some at Gurpreet Singh Wang ka roadside chowmein stall.

So what the hell do you do? Here’s what…
1. Set the rules, beforehand: Trust me, nothing cements a friendship more than setting some straight rules of behaviour upfront. Especially when it comes to money. Because money also has the potential to kill a friendship almost as quickly as the class hottie you and your friend may have a collective crush on. Decide, to mutual consent, a pattern of payment before you start going out. If there is a friend in the group who is a known moocher and will try and wriggle out of paying, it’s best to casually mention on your way out that you only brought enough money to pay for yourself. Or say when you’re planning the outing that everyone will be paying for themselves. Make sure you stick to this when the bill comes! May sound blunt but better than cribbing and fretting about it later.

2. Make the moocher responsible: You know in colleges or offices when collective treats are planned, the person who deserves the most sympathy is the one who has the task to do the ‘collection’. It’s anyway not a very pleasant task to go upto everyone and ask to pay up for something that they did, or will enjoy. And then this person faces the additional trauma of listening to cribs who’ll question how their share came upto what it did. And more often than not, this poor soul also ends up paying for many others who say they’ll pay later, knowing that ‘later’ never comes. A suggestion, make such a person the collection in-charge. Pay your fair share, turn around and get vigorously busy in a fake phone call. Let him or her also get a taste of ‘I’ll pay later’ looks.

3. Technology to the rescue: In earlier days, everyone would carry cash and it was difficult to wriggle out of a payment situation when it was time to pay the bill. But now with credit cards replacing cash in our wallets, the easiest victim becomes the one whose credit card gets swapped, as he has to depend on the hope that others will pay him later. Tension not. There are mobile apps now which help you solve this problem. I’m yet to try them out here but saw some friends in the US use these extensively.
One such app is Venmo, which not only allows your friends to e-pay you back there and then, but also sends them polite reminders of payment later if they haven’t. Another called Square turns your phone into a mini credit card machine and you can accept debit or credit card payments from your friends for free. Bahana hi nahi bacha ji ab toh. Try them.

Ancient wisdom says that lend only that much money to a friend which you can afford to lose. But I would say that if spending on friends stresses you out like it does to Akshay, then losing the friend is a bigger potential problem than losing the money. Either change your mindset, or change your friends. And a piece of advice to habitual moochers. Dekho yaar, you may be genuinely short of money and not doing this out of fun, in which case it’s way better to honestly decline a treat saying ‘I can’t afford it right now’, than suffer the tension of making excuses.

If, after knowing that, a friend decides to happily pay for you, at least you would know that your company is valued. Achha lagega. Don’t forget to do the same for someone else, someday.

Sonal Kalra only preaches, but is an expert in timing her loo visit perfectly with the arrival of the bill. It’s a fine art she can teach you at a restaurant, if you’ll agree to foot the bill..

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The Friday Funda: The ‘Confession Page’ Rage

Today's Viral Video - Must Watch & Share. Subscribe to My YouTube Channel.

I went to Baba Google recently and said, “Baba! These days’ people are crazy about confession pages. They post whatever comes to their mind on a confession page. I am not on any of the confession pages so far but, wish to join one. Before that, I want to know the exact meaning of the word “CONFESSION”. Is shabd par prakash daalo baba.” Google Baba was ready with 1 crore 47 lakh results in 0.27 seconds after hearing my prashna.

Baba said, “Son! Confession means ‘An admission or acknowledgment that one has done something that one is ashamed or embarrassed about.'”
I replied, “But Baba, people are not using confession pages as per this definition. Instead of admitting something they are embarrassed about, they write something that embarrasses others. I am not delighted to see the direction these confession pages are moving towards.”
At last Baba said, “Dear! You can do one thing in that case, and that is, making “CONFESSION PAGES” a target in this week’s ‘The Friday Funda’. Tathaastu!


Here I am, with this week’s write-up which will talk about confession pages going viral around the web these days. Confession pages have been created for everything, from an educational institution to your local vegetable market, where the vegetable vendor confesses that, he charged Rs.10 extra from a regular customer, and still didn’t give her coriander for free.
Youngsters are found hitting “Likes” and posting comments on confession pages at the speed of a supercomputer. Students are finding it difficult to concentrate on their studies, and login to their social accounts after every half an hour. Hahaha! Ye toh main kam bol raha hoon. Actually, they log in after every five minutes. No?  Chalo yaar sach toh ye hai kay they don’t log-out from their social accounts.

[stextbox id=”info”]When you get the privilege to share your confessions without revealing your identity (anonymously), then you are expected to be responsible enough not to name anyone else as well in your confessions. Otherwise, the whole purpose gets defeated. This is what is being observed on almost all of the confession pages on Facebook. This is what prompted us to launch a separate website – DuConfessions.in where one can share only clean remarks as a part of your confessions and all the comments get duly moderated.[/stextbox]

Initially started as a medium to confess anything anonymously, these so-called confession pages have become a place to post offensive remarks about colleagues, educators and organizations. These confessions include students poking fun at the body language and style of their tutors, ‘dilphenk aashiqs’ confessing their attraction for a crush, whom they name openly on the confession page. Confession pages are turning into dating sites.

The purpose of starting confession pages is not clear even to the admins of these pages. Bas, sab ek hi raag aalaaptey hain “guys and gals! This page is for fun purposes.” Does that mean you can poke fun at others by naming them openly on a page? Many people, including me, do not support the very concept of confession pages because though these pages might have been launched for recharging your batteries by reading humorous but acceptable confessions, these pages have now become a source of foul comments and humiliating confessions. I don’t say that this freedom to express oneself should be withdrawn by blocking these pages, but some rules should be adhered to while posting on these confession leaves. These pages are being used to spit out hatred for a person, an institution, a law or a system and that my dear readers, is very upsetting. It seems as if some people are using confession pages as a weapon to start a cold war with someone.

On March 29, 2013 the Dean of Mumbai’s Government Dental College, lodged an official complaint against a Facebook page titled ‘GDC Mumbai Confessions’ with the city police’s Cyber Crime Cell. The ‘confessions’ GDC students posted on this page contained derogatory remarks about female classmates and criticism of the teachers.

Confessions posted on these pages are fun for those who post them but, a source of stress for the targets. It would be better if the administrators filter the content they receive before finally publishing it but, the administrators do not take this step because the inappropriate confessions are tagged as ‘sensational’. Facebook confession pages started spreading like an epidemic a few months ago and now these are eating up everyone’s valuable time like a disease. A regular Facebook user is observed to be active on at least three confession pages each day. All confession pages are not being exploited but you never know, an anonymous comment might come and spoil the page.

This new trend hypnotizes people in the age group of 16-25 and frights the coaches and the management of various institutions. Some people who have been targets on confession pages have posted requests to admins for removing derogatory posts but their requests are straightway rejected in the name of “take it as a joke” phrase.

[stextbox id=”alert”]BTW, we have created a separate confession page for Fans of Sonal Kalra as well.[/stextbox]

Safeguards:

  • Administrators of various confession pages and sites claim that they review content before making it public.
  • Facebook reviews pages on its site on a daily basis and takes immediate action on any content marked objectionable by the users.

Let me shed light on the fact that confessions posted on these confession pages are stored permanently in the web space. Misuse of these confession pages can land the person found guilty in trouble, as confessions can be traced. These confessions are anonymous on the face, but the person behind can be found out by tracking the Internet Protocol (IP address) of the user.
Facebook users have delivered mixed reactions to these confession pages. I am a regular Facebook user too and fall in the category of those who neither target nor are targets on a confession page. I am not on any of the Facebook confession pages. It might be possible that a silly confessor targets my write-up on a confession page. The best thing I can do about this is not joining a confession page and just IGNORE, IGNORE & IGNORE!

So, what’s your opinion regarding these confession pages? Confess it at techsoftwarez@gmail.com. See you next Friday  🙂

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How To Develop Good And Healthy Habits In Children

The following tips and guidelines will help your child to develop good and healthy habits that will improve his self-image;

1. You should be positive on things
generally all kids depend on their parents for everything. They learn most of things from their parents as they grow. So a parent has got a huge influence and big role to play in the development of the kid. Children believe that their mom or dad is always right on everything he says or does. So the parents should ensure that they are positive always and teach their kids positive things. Give the child the message that will make his mind to have a positive mentality of good and healthy habits. Start by thinking positive all the time and tell the kids how great they are and how great they will be if they do as you tell them. Let them know what they are capable of doing as kids like to hear and know what they can do. Make sure you praise them for every good job done and help them to develop a good self-image to the society. When you start by thinking positive on things, you will influence your kinds to think so hence developing good and healthy habits on them.

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2. Be realistic and a good role model
Children will always take notice of what you are doing, listening and saying. Make sure that what you do, listen and say has got a positive development in the habits of the children as they grow. It is not that you must be perfect, but try to perfect your characters as they will copy from you. Set goals that have limits, are good, achievable and realistic to engage a positive development of your kids. Develop health eating goals, physical development goals and life goals. If you achieve these goals, your children will see your effort and get influenced. Keep healthy body by eating better as your kids will always imitate you.
3. Limit computer and TV time
Monitor and control what your children are watching, playing or saying. Encourage physical and mental activities that makes your children enjoy. Let them experiment these activities because they will stick with them for longer if they love them. When rewarding your children, don’t reward them with video games, TV or candy instead reward them with something which can improve and develop a good and healthy habits.
4. Let the dinnertime be a family time
It is good when a family sits down together to eat. This will help you to monitor well what the children are eating. Allow your children to involve themselves in the cooking and planning of meals. Provide healthy food for your children and ensure you enjoy dinner with your family by making delicious meals, fruits and good vegetables to make it a norm for your children as they grow.

 

5. Have fun and stay involved

Plan a time to have fun with your children and let the whole family move together, ride bikes, take walks and swim together.

 

The writer is Amy Lawson from Manchester. She’s an insurance advisor who also volunteers for several non-profit organizations that spread awareness about organic food. Writing is her passion and she writes quite a lot on topics related to insurance. Presently, she is writing a thesis on child tax credit helpline.

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A Calmer You: no instant reply equals instant stress

So, Sonal, I have a topic to suggest for your column,” said a usually reticent Divya in my team. “The other day I sent you a message asking if I could report a little late for work,” she went on. “And you didn’t reply for a few minutes. In those few minutes, I was horribly stressed that you are upset about something.”
Arrey, but I was busy with something and didn’t see your message immediately,’ I said. “Yeah, I know. But it does lead to tremendous stress if the boss doesn’t reply instantly,” she said. I joked with her about how she’s making me feel like a guilty boyfriend. And then I recalled a conversation I’d overheard in a restaurant just a day before.

technology-and-relationships
Would you stop judging me already? I don’t eavesdrop, the guys were too loud. Well, okay. I eavesdropped. But suno toh sahi, it was a damn interesting conversation.
Jaan le rakhi hai yaar Richa ne,” said one guy to his friend. “I love her and all that. But she’s constantly on my case if I’m not available online 24X7. She keeps a track of my last seen time on Whatsapp and gives me such grief if I’ve been online otherwise but haven’t responded to her message yet.” “Girls are like that only,” replied his genius friend, shaking his head.
Well, I don’t know if girls are like that, but technology surely is like that these days. Overwhelming, and overbearing. Before the instant messaging monsters invaded our civilisation, we were okay with not hearing from our loved ones all through the day. But in a bid to outdo each other, telecom companies have taken slogans like ‘stay connected’ too literally, and sadly so have we.
In the day and age when instant noodles and pre-mixed coffee is called a meal without blinking an eyelid, instant replies on SMSs, BBMs or Whatsapp have also become a measure of how much you care for the person on the other end.
And ironically it has become so justified to feel upset about why someone did not respond to our message immediately that the other person is left with no choice but to act guilty and defensive, without realising that there is no such rule in life that says you don’t care for the sender if you do not respond within 7 seconds of reading a message. Then there are BBM or Whatsapp groups where copy pasted jokes arrive from all directions at the speed of missiles and everyone in the group is supposed to ‘lol’ well in time to be safely considered a social animal.
In some ways, this stress of always being available also manifests itself in the way we respond to phone calls. You could have sat down to eat a meal, which by the way, still remains the primary thing you are living and working so hard for, and the phone rings. Immediately, the meal takes a backseat and you either get up to take a call or now since cell phones are almost appended to our bodies like an extended limb, you just take the call there and then.
If you don’t and there is an emotional loved one on the other side, your entire day can go in making amends. There is a colleague who starts most of his conversations with me by complaining about how I didn’t take his call the last time. Once I tried telling him politely that till the day I spend on buying a cell phone and pay its monthly bills, it’s I who will decide when to pick up a call, not the caller. He took truck loads of offence but thankfully the grumbling ceased for a while.
My point is simple. Technology is a facilitator, not the master of our life. If the state of our relationships is going to be dictated by the stress of how much we are making use of that technology, then we’ll only end up tying ourselves in knots. If you are one of those who happens to get all worked up about how your friend has not responded instantly to your message, consider this:
1. By getting constantly upset that your boyfriend isn’t responding to your messages at the speed of light, you are not showing love, you are showing insecurity.
2. Frequent display of insecurity will not make him come closer to you, it’ll make him Google for ways to hide his online status from you.
3. Hiding his online status just to maintain peace in the relationship is actually making him lie to you, something that he wouldn’t want to do if you were not this hyper about instant responses.
4. Lying in a relationship weakens its very foundation, further fuelling insecurity.
5. Finally, there is no proof to support the notion that relationships based on two people constantly connected to each other are stronger than those where each person gets space to breathe.
On the contrary, the latter may just be stronger since there’s no stress to lie or keep defending oneself.

Here’s some unsolicited gyan for Richa, jisne jaan le rakhi hai. Do remember that the definition of love got written ages before human beings learned to even spell technology. Don’t suddenly make advancements in technology the basis for a thing whose basis can only be trust, and nothing else. The day your boyfriend gets the confidence to say ‘I was chilling out with friends’ rather than saying, the phone was in the pocket and I didn’t hear the beep, he’d be in a much secure space in the relationship. And the day you learn to chill out with your own friends without being under the stress of checking your phone every second for his reply, you’d be in bliss too. Try toh karo.

Sonal Kalra has discovered that by simply blocking a contact for a few minutes and then unblocking them, you can effectively hide the ‘last seen’ time-stamp from whatsapp.
Also if you read a message on BBM and without touching the trackball or pressing any key you press the red, call disconnect key, you can read a message without the dreaded, R, appearing next to it.

Chalo, kuchh toh kaam ka seekha aaj.

Never Believe What Your Mother Says

You all must be thinking that what crap I am talking about our so precious and beloved “Mother” on this Mother’s day. The day we all have been waiting for. But, YES believe me, mothers tend to lie to their children quite often. And the strange thing is this ki when her children come to know about the truth, they tend to love her even more than they ever did before.

mothers-day

The most common lies of a mother

I am not hungry

I am darn sure that not even a single person in this entire world who would not agree to me on this point. Whenever that last piece of your favorite dish is left and you demand more, no matter she has not taken even a morsel of it, suddenly she develops disliking towards it…”muje tho ye bilkul bhi pasand nahi hai”, or if the last chapatti is left in the chapatti box, suddenly she starts feeling full up to neck. Her hunger suddenly goes away and that last piece is given to you. No matter how she spent her childhood, but she always says invariably..I had enough in my childhood…now it’s your turn my child.

I am not tired

When she keeps on working like a machine and you want her to take rest, she always replies that, a little work is left and after that she will definitely take rest. But this ‘little work’ never comes to an end. No matter how late she sleeps, she is the first one to get up in the morning.

I really don’t need this

Mother never needs new clothes, no matter how many clothes she has, they are always more than enough. Unke koi shauk nai hote, unke saare shauk poore ho chuke hote hain.

I don’t need money

When a son sends money for her mother, she saves it for him and when he comes back , she returns that money to him and says “muje paison ki kya zaroorat hai”.

I am perfectly all right

When she is ill, you can clearly see the pain on her face. But she always keeps working and says “I am not that ill, I will be fine soon, you please take care of yourself and pay heed to your job”.

Every mother of this world is a pro at telling these lies and she keeps on telling them throughout her life without any fail. But when you notice these lies you just feel like weeping bitterly.

Take a simple test to know how much you know your mother

  • If your mother gets few days leave from her household chores, where she would like to go?
  • What is her favorite past time?
  • Name her favorite movie
  • When it was last, when you gifted something to your mother
  • What is her favorite ice cream?
  • When it was last, that you shared a giggle with your mother?
  • How much time you spend with your mother?

Don’t evaluate yourself just because, mother’s day is round the corner, but, to know how well you are connected and close to your mother. 

Dost kise kehte hain….?

 ‘Define friendship’. Google this phrase and I’m sure you’ll get n number of friendship quotes. We all have our friends and our own ways of expressing this amazing relationship that we have the liberty to chose for ourselves, in words. The number of friends we have in our lives depends not so much on whether we are extroverts or introverts, but more on the qualities we look for in a friend. The more specific you get on what you look for in a friend, fewer the friends you have in your life.

best-friend

[stextbox id=”info”]Here’s my take on what a true friend is all about[/stextbox]

Dost wo hai, jisse kuch kehne se pehle sochna na pare: Can you share anything and everything in your heart and life with the one you call your friend, without fear of being misunderstood or being judged

Friends don’t judge you: A real friend will never try to judge you by what you say or do. And if they judge, they are critics not friends because for a real friend, you can never be wrong

Acceptance: A true friend will accept you with all your imperfections, Good, bad or ugly, a true friend accepts you just the way you are. No one is perfect but for a friend you are the best just the way you are.

Stand by me: A true friend literally stands by you even when the world is against you

Understanding: A friend can sing the song in your heart when you have forgotten the lyrics. They understand every word you say even when you don’t really say it.

Nache bhi wo teri khushi mein: Your joys should be sufficient reason to make a friend smile.

Do you have the time: Don’t tell me you are busy. You can always find a few precious minutes for a friend no matter how busy you get.

And, Once a friend always a friend: Not that friends don’t argue or fight. Even Tom and jerry do. But tom never gulped jerry. Because no matter what,  ‘Ek baar hamne commitment kar di uske baad to hum apni bhi nahi sunte’. So tell me, ‘Are you friends for life?

Well, I guess this shortens your friend list to just one or two wonderful people in your life. But that’s okay because ‘Making a million friends is not a miracle, the miracle is to make one friend who is worth a million

There’s Always a First Time for Everything

Yeah….i know that you all know that there’s always a first time for every thing….like you walked once for the first time, you said maaaa and paaaa for the first time(your parents still tell you how happy they were listening to those incoherent words)….you danced,singed,played,ate,etc……..all for first time sometime in your life. But what i am talking about are the memorable things which we all do and remember for life time….however trifle they may be…they still hold for a memory in your heart. And yes….i am not talking about relationships or any other personal stuff……just pure general things:)

there-is-always-a-first-time-for-everything

So here are my favourite ten things which i feel are memorable first time things…..though they are funny and most of them must have been experienced by you too…..

1) GIVING SPEECH FOR THE FIRST TIME ON STAGE:

This is the time when you can actually hear your heart beat…..you are all cold and nervous. Cold sweats, wet palms…..and when you speak…..the voice is all shaky and well…..squeaky:).And if at that particular moment the microphone makes that screechy sound……god save you from a hysterical attack.I know it happens with most of the people(unless you are don’t belong to that elite class whose motto is”thappad se darr nai lagta….pyaar se lagta hai!!!!!)……but as we all are afraid of getting slapped so thats not our type:).but after you have given your speech, no matter how bad….you start to have a bit ease in doing that subsequently…..that is number of times on stage is inversely proportional to the intensity of fits during speech time.

2) SLAPPING SOMEBODY TIGHT:

Now after giving that slap theory….this point needs mention…..and what a feeling you receive by honouring someone with a tight one…..beyond words.The sound,the effects…..wah wah…..this sets the benchmark for the subsequent ones..High intensity, low intensity,almost similar……but make sure to please run away after giving one. Thats because a holy man once said”always be on the giving end….not the receiving one”

3) OPENING A BANK ACCOUNT:

From our childhood we wonder what exactly our parents do in bank…all that paper work and all.We always thought its a place where money is kept and you can have it any time(now that we have ATM’s…..so its for today’s kids).But once you turn 18 and your father take you along to open up a bank account….you are astounded by the number of people there….and suddenly bank appears like gringotts from harry potter. Then your first transaction happens….usually its a demand draft for a competitive exam. Now the people behind the desks literally appears like goblins who don’t give a damn to a kid standing in front(no offences to bank people though but thats what happened with me).But after an hour of queries and repeated cuttings you finally get your draft made and that is the time when you think that you have finally known what adults do in bank.And the next draft just take a mere five minutes to you but your first one will always be in your mind.

4) WEARING MAKE UP:

This one is especially for girls….all her life(i mean before make up)girl thinks that all these actresses look beautiful because they wear lot of make up…well, true to an extent but not totally.So when a girl tries make up for the first time, she thinks…she’s gonna rock the look….but sadly….this turns out exactly opposite for almost 85% of the girls.When she looks in the mirror after all her effort she feels horrible and thinks she was much better without it.But gradually things change and after repeated efforts and experience she manages that actress look and that too with an elan:)…..still…in her mind her first look always lingers and she has a great laugh thinking about that later:).

5) DRIVING OR ERRRR….RIDING A BICYCLE:

Remember your first time on bicycle when after removing those supporting tyres your father let you go all by yourself…..a mixed feeling of fear and joy…..aaaah….though you bumped yourself straight into those bushes or even worst on the concrete road,But you felt like a king that day…even though you may be driving a big SUV today…but that wound mark on your knee still freshen ups those memories.

6) FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL:

I know we all are just very very small that time but i really don’t know how we remember it.Usually you have very faint memories of that but still you remember whom you sat with on the very first day(usually that person is your best buddy now, though not always:)).You also remember who slapped you or pushed you or better vice versa…but they all are faint and still very close to heart.

7) GETTING SCOLDED ALONE AT SCHOOL OR COLLEGE:

This has happened with every one….and that too in front of the whole class or worse …..school…but the humiliation you felt for the first time is beyond compare.You keep grudges against that teacher forever….and by forever i mean literally forever.Subsequent scoldings start having less effect and by the time you reach your senior years you become a”chikna ghada” or in better words immune to it.Even if the teacher sends you out of the class….that moment becomes a point to celebrate and you thank your stars that the teacher herself did the needful!!!!

8) ADVENTURE GAMES:

Remember hrithik roshan from zindagi naa milegi dobara…..now imagine yourself in his role after he did that deep sea diving….satisfying!!!(anyone would feel that if the instructor is katrina kaif)……but on serious note…anyone who has done bungee jumping,scuba diving,para gliding and other sports would become extremely excited about their first attempt in that(how they fell,how they controlled…what were they thinking,how it was a near death experience….list goes on) but yeah the feeling is truly amazing and you would not forget it even when you have turned 107 years old.

9) GIVING YOUR FIRST JOB INTERVIEW:

Well…its almost similar to stage fright….but now you just don’t have to speak…now you have to answer.In your first interview you are naive,inexperienced,lack worldly knowledge…..but for most of us its the best we give(getting selected or not doesn’t matter).You always remember the face of your first interviewer…but in later interviews you even tend to forget the name of the company you went to.

10) VISIT TO THE DENTIST:

Now thats my favourite!!!!…..i myself being a dentist know how people feel:)They are horrified just by the site of the clinic.Though people shake every time they have to go there but first time….its the worst.Most of the people start having uneasiness by the sight of the instruments and if a minor procedure is to be performed….their blood pressure shoots and they usually faint!!!….everyday’s story:).But gradually they become IMMUNE to it and take anaesthesia shots with ease:)

So….these are my memorable things which i remember still…and probably would remember in years to come…..and i know you may have a totally different list of these things.Then why not you also add your “first’s” to this and make it really worth remembering:):):)

[stextbox id=”info”]And by the way, this was NOT the First guest post by Pooja. Do check out her other posts as well and don’t  be Kanjoos in giving likes to her post. And if  for some reasons, you didn’t like it, then there is a comment section available for the purpose.:-) [/stextbox]

"My Parents Just Dont Understand me" .. like .. really ?

Aeons have passed since the apparently ‘never going to end’ war between the not so modern parents and their so very inexperienced kids has been going on! Almost everyday I come across this topic, posts of children on social networking sites railing against their parents for not being modern enough to accept their child’s romantic relationship with someone else followed by the morose “Why me ?” and the melancholic “ My parents just don’t understand me” … I mean come on people they are YOUR PARENTS doing everything just for you and you harass all their concern with this “Why me?”

Kids Fight with parents relationship issues

Why ME” Revisited.

Just the other day a cousin of mine (13 years and 4 months old to be precise) almost on the verge of drowning in the lake of depression started telling me how her parents suspected her without any reason and kept a check on her phone without any fault of hers which yet again was followed by the morose “why me” ,and not to forget..the melancholic “My parents just don’t understand me” with such a deplorable expression that it actually made me go “ Ohh poor her ! How insensitive can parents be sometimes” when just the next minute with a current of exhilaration in her voice did she start telling me about her ‘boyfriend’ (oh yes and its the very boyfriend without any space or hyphen between the BOY and the FRIEND) , Mr Dude , and how she loved to spend time with her Mr Dude ! Oh come on … there you are … that is the very reason why you are in the “Why me” state.

Well i know all the youngsters out there must be snarling at me but just think .. think of the reason the elders tell us not to get involved in this stuff! I know how it feels for I’m not a fairy-tale princess either but I’ve grown up learning from my experiences as well. After all these years I can feel that I’m a better person bereft of all sorts of worries and tensions and not to forget , the fear of being ‘caught’ . Yes I’m just another teenager but more than that i am a person who learns from the experiences. And i definitely do not fall in with the sentence that one can learn from others’ experience , unless one is a total cheater cock , just like one’s thirst can never be quenched by seeing the other gulping down water! But all i intend to do is instil a thought in your brain which will coerce you to give it another thought .

Lessen The Burden!

The fact of the matter is that we are actually kids. Yes, kids switching over to adulthood, but not yet adults and this fact makes a mammoth of a difference. The thing is that when YOU actually become an adult, you’ll laugh at (or sometimes even regret) all this. Parents are somewhere actually right because it is the “happy times” we’d be missing on by involving in relationships.

The reality is that we actually can’t handle it because we aint mature enough ! Lucky those people are who are able to but as far as I’ve seen and the recent Confession pages on Facebook have shown, most cant . No wonder we see umpteen number of teens feeling depressed and OVERBURDENED because of this extra burden they carry which they aren’t even ready to carry!

The grim truth is not that the parents aren’t supportive but that you aren’t smart enough and it is but natural. You feel infatuated , you become friends, you get in a relationship , you do blunders , it finally ends up , you regret and are left with sheer bittersweet memories which attract you and sway you away. You end up sleeping on wet pillows, updating distressing statuses, becoming a mere hardboiled recluse. You end up disliking fun and finally become a humdrum person until you again come at the first infatuation stage and the cycle continues.So many heartbreaks, unfulfilled promises and nonsense done. But did you ever think how nice it would have been if you had limited it to just becoming friends. Then you would have been bereft of all kinds of fears and worries and would have even continued to be with that person instead of being ruefully separated like in your case! You would have been happy then. You would have felt free, no one to blame, nothing to regret. Now if you are not as flickering as the streetlight near my house, you would have got my point!

These years are the golden years of your life where you get a chance to be free and ENJOY because after that you will eventually have to face the vagaries of life. Why not just enjoy this freedom with no regrets and morose “Why Me”s . All you gotta do is be real and sensible and live the life which you’re meant to live. Love is a big word and if it is love, it doesn’t end so quickly.

However, since you can see that it mostly doesn’t ‘work out’ you should give it a thought that it is an imposter in the form of love, fooling you all the way long. The decision remains in your hand : to be or not to be a fool. For one thing we all know is that to find a 13-year-old , or even a 16-year-old for that matter, falling in “love” can sometimes be really hilarious but we all that once even we had gone through this stage. Life is all about choices you make .. so make better choices to make your life better! Stay Happy!

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Like Older Women to Marry?

I just read news about Bar Refali, a 26 year old Israeli supermodel who says she has a crush on 18 year teen popstar Justein Beiber and feels one day they will be getting married. This news reports on Page 4 of Hindustan Times and carries a photograph of the supermodel….( Man! She’s hot…!)

 

I really wonder why the relationship of an older girl and younger guy is looked upon with raised eyebrows, with certain amount of disapproval and insanity. I really don’t get the logic why the girl has to be younger than the boy in the so- called “ideal relationship model ’’ created by the society. Do these guys have any idea, how such a forced convention play havoc with the   love –life of many individuals around this world who don’t choose partners on the basis of freaking  conventions  forced  by this society? Also it kills the chances of our flirting with older girls! Dude that’s pathetic for us but I am sure you old –society guys don’t give a piece of mind to it. 

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bachpan se hume kaha gaya hai , ki jo humse bade hote hain, wo hamare bhaiya ya didi hote hain.”

………quoted by someone close

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Yup that’s right and it is something every one of us has come across many a times during our growing up. It happens that you are visiting your neighbor’s house and they already have guests, you come across this beautiful shy girl who’s watching you from the corner of her eyes but before you can even appreciate her beauty, yours  Not-So –Understanding (NSU) old uncle kicks in.

(NSU-UNCLE)-Astha beta!! Apne chote bhaiya se milo, ye humare padosh mein rehte hai… :P

[And then he scornfully looks at u….]

YOU: :(  🙁  🙁  :(.., Screw You!!!  Old penguin…!

And then all of a sudden the shy beautiful-chick takes form of an Irritating-Vintage-Sick-Aunty.

(Somebody has rightly said it’s all about paradigm and perception…poor guy!)

But, whatever the society feels. I think the old-girl and young-guy relationship rocks and it is as normal as any other relationship.( I can’t promise that if the girls happens to be taller than the guy..It really sucks then!!…  L

But Who wouldn’t want a more experienced, more caring, wiser partner…Whom you can trust and in the mean time you can enjoy your carefree self, because someone more matured is there to care for you. J

who will explain this to girls? Being in a relationship with a younger guy is like an insult to them (due to the virtue of rules set by society) Come On! Girls! Look at the Guy! Not his Age and think for yourself not for society… because it’s your life.

Poetically “Love has no boundaries, no religion, no age, no gender( it’s for my gay bros and lesbi sis.),……” and also “ love is blind” but The Problem is that lovers do know boundaries and they ain’t blind in most of the cases…so in the end we reach in a very perplex situation. But still I would like you to break boundaries, let the Magic of Love blind your eyes, be Stupid, Go Crazy… Maybe that’s what’s Love and Trust all about!!

(Again visiting your neighbor and meeting a new girl there)

YOU:   Namaste UNCLE!

NEW GIRL: Hii! :)

NSU UNCLE: Beta! Rishika apne bade bhaiya se milo ye humare pados mein rehtein hain!! :P

NEW GIRL: Oh… hello BHAIYA!

YOU: (slowly) This World sucks!! :(

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Arranged Marriages. Anyone?

If you think matches (not cricket or home lite) are made in heaven, think again……….Match making esp. in arranged marriages is an art where everybody follows the guidelines set up by “The PhD holders in match making” n this group comprises of all the people above the age of 50. Parents forcing you to go to a family function is just a precursor and is meant to show that my child is suitable for a good match…and thus suitable families present may apply right now. But this step is not worth to be considered as guidelines. So before giving you a detailed view of those guidelines, let me produce before you a few statistics which i have gathered after lots of……well……..imagination!

arranged-marriages

50% of marriages(considering where our country has reached now) are love marriages(i.e their guidelines are totally different,so about them…..any other time).

From the rest 50%:-
30%-This comprises of boys and girls who are ready to get married but have not done so because either they had failed relation previously or/ they are very obedient sons and daughters who would just marry a guy or gal chosen by their parents or/ a total loser who cannot propose a girl on his own and thus wants their parents support.

So the problem lies with with the rest 20%:- This class comprises of people who……don’t want to marry so SOON ……even if they have entered their thirties…..just because they love their single status.They enjoy the freedom and fun associated with it and that indeed is a golden phase.
So these guidelines are about this 20% because they are the people who would genuinely find these guidelines irritating.

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.”

– Marilyn Monroe

Now the process of match making begins with a …….ummmmm…..

1) PHOTOGRAPH: In arranged marriages choosing a photograph is the choice of your parents.You really cannot give them the weird pics you’ve clicked and made it as a profile picture. The thousands of pics you meticulously clicked thinking about the right angle,pose,direction of tube light and all are straight away rejected by your parents.

Thus now you are made to dress up in a proper indian attire and taken to a studio where that unknown camera man is staring at you with his observant eyes. Parents coax him to take a beautiful photograph.Then you are made to stand in that particular posture…….your hands folded awkwardly and your face tilted to a weird angle…..and a fake smile which goes aptly with that pose.And then the final copy of that photograph arrives and you start doubting weather its really you in that photoshopped photo……and wonder if you would have done a better job in editing that…….never mind.

2)BIO DATA:-Well now that the big work is done the next step is to write a bio data for yourself.In today’s world where i think 90%of the urban girls are career oriented, they are more habitual of writing a professional resume rather than writing about your complexion,height,interests in music and cooking(now this really sucks!!!). And the format of writing is usually copy pasted from your elder brother or sister’s bio data.And now that everything is ready it is duly attached with the so called beautiful photograph and is sent to all the eligible candidates.

3)THE DREADFUL TIME:- Now don’t get me wrong……but frankly saying…it indeed is.Actually if by fluke or by your luck that dreadful photograph is liked by anyone and they show any interest…..then that moment arrives…..The”LADKI DEKHNA” ceremony(as if you are one of the rare species of animal in a zoo at Hong Kong.
This ceremony begins with a with an elaborate preparation and the best sweets and snacks are prepared or purchased.The house is thoroughly cleaned and the maid is asked to stay up late for extra help.The boy and his family arrives and the parents of both sides start talking about the most useless things of the world and then one of them suggests that the girl should be called in.As the girl enters every one suddenly becomes quiet for a few seconds as if they have indeed seen the rarest species.
Then the boy and girl are left in a room to talk ALONE. Usually the boy starts up the chat and talk about every thing which has been written in his bio data….the same goes for girl…..and then an awkward silence.This goes on for a while and when they have nothing else to talk then they head back to where others are sitting.
Now comes the tough part…usually the boy’s mother who has already inspected the girl from head to toe…starts with the usual question- beta khaana bana lete ho?…..and the girl thinks what the hell!!!…..(a dentist friend of mine aptly replied”nahi..but denture bana leti hoon”) but nods in affirmation and then two three more useless questions are asked. And usually by the other day you come to know that RISHTA PAKKA ho gaya….and thus following the guidelines a match is made. If god forbid it fails…..the guideline says repeat step 3…..and then the story goes on and on.

“Titanic film mein Jack ka Rose ke liye pyar dekh kar main toh yahi kahunga ki sahi mayne mein ‘RELATION-SHIP’ wahi tha…”

–  Raaj Shaandilyaa, Script Writer for Krushna, Sudesh and Kapil Sharma in Comedy Circus.

By reading this you may think that these things no longer exist in today’s modern era but they do.But the matter of fact is that these kind of marriages are successful and we have all seen that questioning our elders about this is….well….questioning…..so try those guidelines and if nothing happens enjoy your single status!!!!!!!!