So, When will you grow up?

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When it comes to weird people, there are several varieties. But talk about so-weird-they-make-you-feel-like-jumping-in-front-of-the-metro, the list may not be that long. Prominent in that list of mine are childish adults. Childish to the point of exhibiting an unrecognised trait of dementia, which I’m certain will soon make it to the list of medically untreatable imbecilities.

when will you grow up - a calmer you
The reference to the metro is because I happened to see one such CA (childish adult; No, the chartered accountants can’t sue me, they are all busy filing some return of the dragon or something), when I boarded the metro recently to protest against the fuel price hike. There was a guy in the compartment, with his CA girlfriend who was driving him, and everyone else, nuts with her kiddy-talk. ‘No, no, no.. I said I wanted to ride in the pink coach. Pink is my favourite colour. Unh unh unh..’ that 20-something-girl said, stomping her foot thrice. My eyes widened at this unabashed display of utter horror. ‘But pink coach is only for women,’ reasoned her boyfriend. ‘Toh? Mein tele chhe phone pe baat talungi nah,’ (So? I will talk to you on the phone)she replied loudly, actually in 2-year-old’s voice, complete with a hand gesture of talking on phone.
I glared at her boyfriend with a look that screamed ‘Slap her, slap her right now.’ But the poor thing looked so helpless as everyone around seemed amused. And then, as their destination station was about to arrive, this girl suddenly crossed her arms, refused to get down, and with a fake-pout, declared ‘you don’t love me’ to the hapless guy. I physically moved an inch and a half towards her, contemplating where to dispose the body off if I kill her.

 [stextbox id=”black”]Age does not make us childish, as some say; it finds us true children.
-James Anthony Froude. [/stextbox]

But then visions of Sridevi in Sadma and the possibility of the drama queen actually being challenged stopped me. But I still feel all that she was challenged of what was sensible, mature behaviour. Anyway, itni lambi kahaani ka point is that some people forget that they are supposed to grow up with their age, and turn into the highly irritating breed of CAs. Here’s how to recognise them

1. Tantrum throwers: A behavioural trait that should have ended when they were five continues even when they are 45 – throwing tantrums when things don’t happen the way they want. You may have seen calm, rational looking adults sometimes act very juvenile even when it comes to workplace conflicts. Much like a toddler refusing to eat green vegetables, they would refuse to see logic in an argument and won’t budge from their position.
The same could happen if you are in a relationship with a CA. Your partner would suddenly sulk for days, without telling you the reason, or behave in a really immature way even in a party when something upsets him or her. The best way to deal with tantrum throwers is actually to not deal with them at all. If you pay attention to a tantrum, it only grows. Leave them to sort it out and make it clear that you will entertain only rational behaviour.

2. Cutie pies: If I could catch hold of the word ‘cute’, I would beat it up with a hammer. Such a misused expression, I tell you. Because most CAs of the world try and get away with obnoxious behaviour hiding under this one expression. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t endorse people who are gloomy and serious all the time in the name of acting mature. To a certain extent, it’s very important to bring out the child in you, no matter what you are. But if that child refuses to go back, sir, you have problem.
I know of a girl nearing 30 who speaks, dresses and behaves like a 6-year-old a majority of the time. Maybe when she initiated this behaviour, someone called her ‘cute’. Her desktop wallpaper is two furry ‘cute’ cats, her t-shirts have cute puppies on them and her wallet has poor Snowwhite dangling from the chain. Anyway, all that is her personal choice. But the trouble is that she takes this inner child to work with her. And she doesn’t even realise that she may be a subject of mockery because of this. My advice: curb the cute, bring out the sensible — most of the times. If you manage to do that and the cute comes out only occasionally, people would genuinely find you endearing, rather than going all ‘awww, how chweet’ on your face and puking when you turn around.

3. Cry-babies: These people may not actually cry, but their behaviour sure makes others feel like. I know this guy who has whined close to 98% of his living time on this planet. Always cribbing, always complaining. He must be in his 30s but he does the noble task of reminding me of all the small children of this world the moment he opens his mouth. Right from the weather being too hot to the girlfriend not being hot enough, his life seems like a big mess. Well, it’s actually not. To anyone else, he’s had it going pretty good and life’s treated with kid-gloves. Kid-gloves? Oh damn, that may have been the problem.
Net, net, here’s the deal for all the CAs out there. Life’s not to be taken too seriously, but neither so non-seriously that you make a joke out of yourself. All the baby-talk, pouting, sulking will work only when done in moderation, and maybe in private. But beyond a point, it’s not funny, it’s rather icky to people who have managed to keep pace with their calendar age. Knock it off!
Sonal Kalra wants to apologise to the kids of this world because some adults have encroached their territory. What? We are forgiven? Awww… how cute.

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