Marriage is one of the biggest and happiest occasion for people in this world but in country like ours…i feel people live for this day.Not only the bride and the groom but the whole family and relatives go to the extent of hysterics even at the thought of the word “marriage”. Everyone’s happy for something or the other unknown reasons.There are so many small small functions in which the whole family participates with full enthusiasm.Even relatives who are not in talking terms with you suddenly become friendly….so in short everything looks good and feels great to be part of the big Indian wedding.BUT what irks me about this big fat Indian wedding is the term itself “BIG FAT”….i feel the term used should be OBESE!!!
Marriages in India are treated as a form of business nowadays. Even in well reputed families….before starting talks about a suitable match, people generally ask that how much money are they going to spend on wedding….rubbish!!!!.And if you think that there are people who are against dowry or do not demand anything from the bride’s side….then you are highly mistaken.Even those people would generally say that the bride side may do whatever is their capability or in better words…”we don’t want anything….we just want your daughter:):)….if you really want to give anything…give it to your daughter:):)”…wow!!…that’s such a brilliant thinking.Now what such dialogues do is…they put bride’s side in a fix!!!.They really try out of their comfort zone….to give their daughter all the comforts they can.
May be for giving the so called comforts they may have to sell a piece of land or old jewelry or may be spend out of their own capabilities by taking loans!!.They give her all materialistic things like TV,AC,Car and other innumerable stuff. I just don’t understand one thing….were the groom’s side living in a jungle or a lagoon that they don’t even have such basic amenities or are they habitual of taking such expensive items as a form of gift.The society should understand that the girl can and should live in the same place with exactly same conditions as her future husband and his family lives.
Now the most important part comes is the plight of a girl…apart from the fact that she has to leave her home,her family and friends to a new place where she has to adjust with new surroundings,environment and people who are more interested in the stuff she has brought…….she is expected to be beautiful,fair,tall,well educated and well mannered.And if she has a well paying job thats the best thing that can happen..but she should also be able to churn up tasty meals every time she cooks….ummm….she has to be a superwoman.But what people should really know is that in today”s world parents take equal pains and labour to make their kids successful in professional front…be it a girl or a boy…few can be doctors..engineers or scientists…may be managerial jobs.These young professionals are capable enough to make it big in future to earn sufficiently for themselves and their families.They have promising careers but by giving dowry in the name of gifts and tokens they make the girl feel low and incapable.She feels that all these things are necessary to be given because may be she herself is not capable to be represented alone in other’s house.She needs to accessories herself with all these things and gifts so that she is accepted in the other family with all respect.I mean just look at the confusion in the girl’s mind….at professional front she heads for a successful and bright future with lots of confidence in her and on the other hand when she is married and goes to a household which she has to consider as her own ….such malpractices really downs her morale a lot!!!
Had the groom and his family accepted her the way she is without any tantrums…she might have considered herself the luckiest girl in the universe.No matter how happy or tough the future life would have been…she would have given thousand times more respect to the groom and his family…
Well i don’t know if there is any solution for this problem in society as ours….whereby we have entered the year 2013…but behave as if we are still living in the indus valley civilization where the dead was buried with all the things to be used in later life.What i feel is that this practice of exchanging gifts should be stopped immediately…there should be a limit to the splurging in organizing parties or better still…the bride and groom should organize the party with whatever savings they have.
Also read – Oh, God yeh shaadi ka chakkar.
But one thing is for sure that to stop these unnecessary evils….the society should change…and as we form the society so we should take the initiative to bring about the change.One small step from our side in a positive direction will bring about a big change in the way our so called society.And please who so ever is reading this may suggest some points to ward this evil so common in all strata of our society:)