Tag Archives: Sad

C’mon,out with it now, A calmer you [Feedback]

This column was published on 4/9/11 in HT City. Here is an excerpt;

“Arrey,why are you getting worked up? I know he has bigger, better causes to fight for, but trust me, this problem is lethal.Log munh bana lete hainaur batate nahi kya problem hai. Now tell me, is it any less stressful to cope with such stress-gifters?I normally don’t repeat a topic that’s already been discussed in this column but making an exception this time and taking up something I wrote about last year as well… because I continue to get mails from so many of you who are troubled on account of sulking, or the tendency of a person to withdraw and stay aloof. “

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sonal-kalra-calmer-you-tips-for-sulkers-feedback

Excellent column by Sonal giving calmness tips once again to so called sulkers or people who don’t share and keep quite mostly within themselves. These are really great tips which can help people come out and start sharing and caring. When we talk about such people or observe people who prefer to keep everything just within themselves, we will most often find different behavioural traits leading the people to such a stage. We can not rule out that there are people who must have got some really serious issues in their life which makes them turn into sulkers. But then, we will also find many who would sulk only to prove that their problem is bigger than everyone else.

Each one of us do face our share of problem and issues in life. But there comes a time when the problem become a bit out of control or unbearable, then we must look out to our friends and dear ones to seek solution. However, 25% of the solution of the most of the routine problems of life lies in just sharing which means if a person can really share the problem with someone he/she trust, then the rest of the solution seems quite easier. However, not everyone is able to realize that and instead of sharing, prefer to keep everything withing him/herself. This is when we see them depressed or hopeless most of the time.

It is also true that sometime the problem is so intense that person is just not able to share it inspite of wanting to share. I think, in such cases the close friends may have to go out of the way to help that person even if the person him/herself is not opening up or giving any clue. In these days on internet, it may even be easier because you can communicate with person via email, chat or whatever. Chances of the sulker’s opening up and sharing his problem via such channels is quite high as he/she is not bothered about going through the embarassment which would have been while sharing face to face.

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C’mon,out with it now, A calmer you

Today's Viral Video - Must Watch & Share. Subscribe to My YouTube Channel.

Arrey,why are you getting worked up? I know he has bigger, better causes to fight for, but trust me, this problem is lethal. Log munh bana lete hainaur batate nahi kya problem hai. Now tell me, is it any less stressful to cope with such stress-gifters? I normally don’t repeat a topic that’s already been discussed in this column but making an exception this time and taking up something I wrote about last year as well… because I continue to get mails from so many of you who are troubled on account of sulking, or the tendency of a person to withdraw and stay aloof.

a calmer you column calmness tips for sulkers

It could be one of your friends or family members whose face and behaviour tells you that they are bothered about something but they won’t share. It could also be you who sulks often, and you don’t feel like opening up with anyone because you feel they won’t understand. Either way it causes tremendous stress.

[stextbox id=”info”]Calmness Tips for Sulkers (Avoid Sad and Depression Feelings)[/stextbox]

So, Anna Hazare or not, let us start our own campaign that of eradicating sulking from our country by 2050. Let us, please?

1. Remember, if you won’t tell, we’ll keep repeating:

If you suffer from this disorder (please lemme call it that, how can making a long face and not sharing your problem be normal?), the biggest disadvantage is that those who have done or said something to upset you won’t even know, and will continue to repeat the offence, knowingly or mostly, unintentionally. When in college, there was this guy, Sarfaraz Ahmed, who friends used to tease by calling Naraaz Ahmed. Because he would always be quiet and sulking. In order not to distress him with extra work when he was feeling low, classmates didn’t involve him much in presentations and activities. One day much later into the session, he confessed to a friend that he hated talking to anyone because he felt left-out. He thought that the city kids didn’t want to be friend a small town boy. It came as such a rude shock to us. If only he had said so earlier, we wouldn’t have got into this vicious circle and kept repeating what was, in fact, bothering him.

 [stextbox id=”alert”]When things didn’t go as your plan or back-up plan, don’t sulk. Make new plans! The sun doesn’t stop shining just because of dark clouds. – Author Unknown[/stextbox]


The same holds true, later in life, for sulking partners or spouses. If you won’t tell your girlfriend that something as silly as her wearing a certain dress upsets you because its too short (whether right or wrong is another highly debatable subject), she’ll happily continue to do it, while still fretting about why you don’t seem your usual self.
Then one day during some fight, you’ll end up saying nasty things that’ll hurt her forever. Just.Not.Fair. If you don’t like something, say it upfront. Then figure out how to deal with it.

2. We will ask only twice:

Dekho yaar, we want sulkers of the world to get one thing straight. If you seem upset, we will ask – once, twice. But if you’ll keep replying, ‘I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong’, we will take your word for it. And won’t keep asking again and again. Don’t you then turn around and cry, ‘no one cares for me’. Because we do, and we asked, but you chose to play the ‘all’s well’ false-card. So, deal with it.

3. It never hurts to speak up:

This one’s for those who prefer to go into a shell when something bothers them. See, the thing is, life’s already pretty short and we all know it.

I don’t think you should risk shortening it further by torturing your poor heart with all the mundane matters of life. Let it do its own work, pumping blood is no mean task. Every doctor in the world will tell you that not giving an outlet to your worries and tensions will make you mentally… and physically unwell. Problems are there in everyone’s life. If you think Mukesh Ambani or Shah Rukh Khan have a peaceful sleep every night, you, my dear, are a sweet innocent idiot.
(It’s another thing that if everyone has problems, I’d anyday prefer to cry sitting in Shah Rukh’s Rolls Royce than on an autorickshaw, but let’s not deviate from the subject).
I’m not saying become a crib machine and keep venting in front of everyone you meet, but surely you have someone in your life who won’t mind lending an ear. If you have money to spare, there are some who will charge for it and do it happily (you can mail me for my number, thanks).
If not even that, there are bartenders, barbers, maids who have no choice but to listen to your woes. Get it out of your system. Now. Don’t wait to share your troubles with the nurse at the hospital. She’ll give you a sleeping injection mid-way. Mind it.

Sonal Kalra is writing to the PM for an anti-sulking bill. All those good souls who will sign the petition,

 [stextbox id=”alert”]Being sad and sulking will get you no where, go out and do something about that shit forget that her because she doesn’t care, so why should you. Author Unknown[/stextbox]